93. Om Kulantasthayai namah: I bow down to Amma who resides in kulavidya
Amma has redefined religion for me. Growing up, God was a kind entity who was prone to bouts of anger and revenge. He was a God who could punish and take us to task for even small and minor transgressions. I spewed sanskrit shlokas and verses that to me were mere sounds. I had no idea what I was saying. I had no idea how powerful or powerless they were. All I knew was the words by rote and a fear of the unknown while reciting these. Whilst saying the prayers, the audio track in my head said: Please save me, from the ghosts, the bad people and from the darkness. Religion and spirituality were 2 sides of the same coin. My religion was defined by fear.
So when I met Amma for the first time, I approached Her with fear. Would She reprimand me? Would She look through me or into me and see what lurked within? Was She a judging God? A punishing God? A God that meted out to us our just rewards? For years I regarded Amma through a veil of fear. A much thinner veil than the one I had seen the painted Gods in pictures but through a veil nevertheless. And then one day, Bindu mentioned something about loving Amma. Like a mother. To me, at first, this was near blasphemy! How could we regard God as someone like you and me? How could we 'love' Amma? She loved us and that was fine. But we? Bindu would even sing Bollywood songs to Amma! In her worship, she saw nothing trivial when it came to Amma. Even a bollywood song was good enough for our Amma. But this truly was unconventional, irreverent!
And thus Amma began Her education of me, through Bindu. For the first time I realized what joy there was in dropping that veil and just loving Her. With abandon, with untethered freedom! To reach out and give Her all of ourselves. To tell Her our deepest, darkest secrets. To confide every thought, however base or stupid it seemed. To lay our emotions bare to Her. To allow Her into our hearts. To show Her our vices, our weaknesses. To let Her see us for what we truly are. And how invigorating this feels! That day Bindu helped me cross a major hurdle in my spiritual journey.
And ever since, religion is no longer a part of my life. But spirituality most definitely occupies my mind.
Om Amriteswariye namah!
Amma has redefined religion for me. Growing up, God was a kind entity who was prone to bouts of anger and revenge. He was a God who could punish and take us to task for even small and minor transgressions. I spewed sanskrit shlokas and verses that to me were mere sounds. I had no idea what I was saying. I had no idea how powerful or powerless they were. All I knew was the words by rote and a fear of the unknown while reciting these. Whilst saying the prayers, the audio track in my head said: Please save me, from the ghosts, the bad people and from the darkness. Religion and spirituality were 2 sides of the same coin. My religion was defined by fear.
So when I met Amma for the first time, I approached Her with fear. Would She reprimand me? Would She look through me or into me and see what lurked within? Was She a judging God? A punishing God? A God that meted out to us our just rewards? For years I regarded Amma through a veil of fear. A much thinner veil than the one I had seen the painted Gods in pictures but through a veil nevertheless. And then one day, Bindu mentioned something about loving Amma. Like a mother. To me, at first, this was near blasphemy! How could we regard God as someone like you and me? How could we 'love' Amma? She loved us and that was fine. But we? Bindu would even sing Bollywood songs to Amma! In her worship, she saw nothing trivial when it came to Amma. Even a bollywood song was good enough for our Amma. But this truly was unconventional, irreverent!
And thus Amma began Her education of me, through Bindu. For the first time I realized what joy there was in dropping that veil and just loving Her. With abandon, with untethered freedom! To reach out and give Her all of ourselves. To tell Her our deepest, darkest secrets. To confide every thought, however base or stupid it seemed. To lay our emotions bare to Her. To allow Her into our hearts. To show Her our vices, our weaknesses. To let Her see us for what we truly are. And how invigorating this feels! That day Bindu helped me cross a major hurdle in my spiritual journey.
And ever since, religion is no longer a part of my life. But spirituality most definitely occupies my mind.
Om Amriteswariye namah!
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