150. Om nir-avadyayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is blameless or praiseworthy
I am sorry, Amma. For when I chanted the prayers this morning, I doubted. I was upset. I cried because my faith slipped. If only for a few minutes but it slipped. And that hurt really bad. I wondered where You were. Were You even seeing me and hearing me? Did You have any idea what I was going through? Had You felt the deluge of my tears at all?
Thankfully the painful moment passed. It had to. Because You are blameless. How can I possibly forget everything You have consistently done for me? How can I ever doubt? That would truly be the greatest sin of all. How can I ever wonder if Amma is listening to me or not? She always has and She always will. There is no point measuring Amma against normal human limits because beyond doubt, Amma is divine. So what She can do isn't for us to fathom. Or doubt.
I am sorry, Amma. For even those fleeting moments of unwanted tears. But I think the pain was more in the fact that I was missing You. And still am. I crave a darshan with You. I wish I could see You right now. I wish, someway or the other, I could glimpse You. Feel Your presence. But that is my shortcoming. You are omnipresent. Looking after each of Your children, every minute of the day. We need only polish our faith and we will then be able to feel Your beautiful presence in our lives. We need only ask.
Today I hope I never lose my faith in You ever again. I hope I am able to realize the blessing the universe has bestowed on me by ensuring that I am a part of Your life. I hope I can always see You embracing me ever so tightly even in the darkest of times. Allow me this grace, Amma.
Om Amriteswariye namah!
I am sorry, Amma. For when I chanted the prayers this morning, I doubted. I was upset. I cried because my faith slipped. If only for a few minutes but it slipped. And that hurt really bad. I wondered where You were. Were You even seeing me and hearing me? Did You have any idea what I was going through? Had You felt the deluge of my tears at all?
Thankfully the painful moment passed. It had to. Because You are blameless. How can I possibly forget everything You have consistently done for me? How can I ever doubt? That would truly be the greatest sin of all. How can I ever wonder if Amma is listening to me or not? She always has and She always will. There is no point measuring Amma against normal human limits because beyond doubt, Amma is divine. So what She can do isn't for us to fathom. Or doubt.
I am sorry, Amma. For even those fleeting moments of unwanted tears. But I think the pain was more in the fact that I was missing You. And still am. I crave a darshan with You. I wish I could see You right now. I wish, someway or the other, I could glimpse You. Feel Your presence. But that is my shortcoming. You are omnipresent. Looking after each of Your children, every minute of the day. We need only polish our faith and we will then be able to feel Your beautiful presence in our lives. We need only ask.
Today I hope I never lose my faith in You ever again. I hope I am able to realize the blessing the universe has bestowed on me by ensuring that I am a part of Your life. I hope I can always see You embracing me ever so tightly even in the darkest of times. Allow me this grace, Amma.
Om Amriteswariye namah!
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