Amma in all Her simplicity!

162. Om nir-mohayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is free from delusion

Amma's simplicity is Her finest quality. Her egoless form, free from any delusion and filled with an endearing simplicity is what attracts us to Her. Isn't it strange that we posture about and pretend to be what we are not in order to get accepted by everyone? How we project ourselves to be fantastic and wonderful and well loved! We work at our image and in the process, lose sight of the journey. We are constantly trying to look good than just be good. Amma needs no such stances. She was born in serenity and is living Her life in the finest moral and ethical standards. Through Her life, She is creating an example for each of us to follow.

Her simplicity is what attracts all of us to Her. In a world swathed in delusional reality, She stands out as unadulterated love and compassion. Because She has no delusions, She reaches out into Her true nature and loves us with all Her might. And thank goodness for that, for in this love we are able to bask and grow. It is Her beautiful simple nature that allows us to walk up to Her and tell Her about everything happening in our life. This is the reason we stand in a long queue and are able to pour our deepest darkest secrets, unaware of the people thronging around Her. How easily we lose sight of the crowds. How easily She is all that we can concentrate on. And this happens because we are attracted like moths to Her very strong aura. It's an aura of incredible brilliance arising out of pure simplicity. Amma's nature isn't tarnished with anything. Not even a speck of a vice. All Amma is, is a sum total of blinding love. She loves each of us in equal measure. I could sit in a bedroom somewhere and tearfully reach out to Her. And I know Amma is listening. Because when there is so much simplicity and love, there are no layers in between a Mother and Her children!

Om Amriteswariye namah!

Towards an egoless life!

161. Om nir-ahankarayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is without egoism (without the concept of 'I' and 'mine')

This is such a beautiful mantra. In tho smantra lies the essence of how we should ideally lead our lives. No ego. As Michael had told Bindu and me weeks ago, ego stands for: edging God out. The presence of ego is really the cause of every bit of unhappiness in our lives. Someone says something that hurts us - and we wallow for days in sadness and the hurt. Because anything that shatters our peace of mind ruins our happiness. Our peace of mind basically is all about the world staying in the box we have created for it. Within the parameters we believe create peace & happiness for us. Anything that  falls outside of that creates tension, stress and sadness for us. It's all about the 'I', 'me', 'mine'. Then where possibly can there be place for Amma in this whole equation?

When we live our lives surrendering to the Guru, and trusting that our Guru will ONLY do and ONLY create in our lives situations required for our growth, then life will run smoothly. That is the only way we can look events in the eye, understand their significance in our lives and carry on with the joy of living. While there is space for ego in our lives, we will continue to feel angry, jealousy, hurt, stress and every possible negative emotion. Ego is the rope with which we hand over our happiness to every other person. Except our Guru and God. It's like every person in our life is walking with one end of this ego rope. As they pull it in many directions, we, puppet like, respond. When we surrender this rope to Amma, She will only pull it in one direction: the direction of our spiritual growth. And She will do it ensuring our happiness and peace.

Let us vow today to cut this rope off right now. Those holding the ends of it are then purely holding bits that lead nowhere. Hand over the power to a stress free life ONLY to God. To Amma. So She can keep us on the path that leads to ultimate salvation and happiness.

Om Amriteswariye namah!

The choice of an anxiety free, Amma rich life!

160. Om nis-cintayai namah: I bow down to Amma who has no anxiety in anything

Despite my everyday attempt through prayer at conquering fear, I am hugely unsuccessful. Anxiety is like a ten headed monster that chases me through alleyways that take me away from the spiritual path. The first stab of anxiety and I totally forget about Amma or Her teachings. It takes me a few seconds - and mostly at least a minute - to remember Amma. Sometimes the anxiety is so real that I feel a tightness in my chest. There is an actual physical symptom that manifests almost immediately.

Many years back, my biological mother had advised me that I must constantly chant Amma's mantra. Isn't it true that when Gandhiji was assassinated, his last words were "Hey Ram"? Isn't that just beautiful that when death struck, God was remembered? There was no escape, but obviously these words were being chanted. I realise now that my mother was right and how important it is to constantly chant Amma's mantra. When we chant Amma's mantra constantly, the mind gets trained to be on our ishta devata. It's the equivalent of one pointed meditation. And once we learn this, our mind will find it very difficult to stray into murky territory. Anxiety is one such stop our mind should really not be taking. If we have dedicated our lives at the feet of Amma, then why are we looking around and searching for snakes?? We are by Amma's feet!! The feet of the universal Mother. The highest level of divinity there ever can be. And while here, we are actually audacious enough to look around and get scared of the snake?! This is audacious as this is the equivalent of questioning Amma. Of asking Her: Can You really protect me?

Anxiety is a nasty and rude companion. It enters our very core and rips apart any semblance of peace. Peace can ONLY be found at Amma's feet. So the decision is really upto us, isn't it? The worldly life fraught with anxiety...or the spiritual life where we trust implicitly in Amma. There can only be place for Amma..or anxiety in our lives. Waltzing with anxiety can only lead us down the deepest and darkest of alleys. It's the worst thing we can do to Amma. Following Amma however can only give us a deep sense of calm and happiness. Anxiety should never be a choice we ever exercise. When Amma doesn't succumb to anxiety, why should we? So the choice is ours. A life shredded apart by fear. Or the perfect anxiety free and Amma rich life?  

Om Amriteswariye namah!

Amma, the destroyer of Ego!

159. Om mada-nasinyai namah: I bow down to Amma who destroys pride

Pride is a horrible emotion. It has a nasty life of its own. It goads you into thinking that you are self sufficient. That you are better than the best. That you have no need for Amma in your life. And when that fall comes, when loneliness hits, when the most unexpected event unfolds, pride bows down pretentiously and ceremoniously and walks out sniggering, through the door.

How can we take pride in anything? When our next breath isn't a certainty, how possibly can we fill our hearts and heads with pride? Every event that happens in our life is because Amma has willed it to. The house we live in, the clothes we wear, the freedom we assume is our birthright, the food we eat, the health we take for granted: absolutely everything is Amma's gift to us. What is to stop us from having been born in war ravaged countries? Even in abysmal situations, Amma is the one who pulls us out of the void. Each step forward is a gift from Amma. Let us not take pride in anything. Amma is the sum total of all the creative, positive, kinetic energy in the world. And thus, every movement, every moment is Hers to give to us. Let us always pray that we are under Amma's grace. The good is Her gift and the bad is us playing out our karma. Amma is right there helping us through the worst of times and preventing us from facing the full force of our karma.

A few days ago I was lucky to meet Purnaswami. Amma of course is a divine being and loved by all. But I realized why Swamiji is also looked upon with a lot of affection by everyone. He has no pride or ego. Ego, pride's dirty bedfellow. He has managed to completely crush every ounce of ego that we normally ride high on. Pride and ego are prime speed breakers on the spiritual road. These are what crush us completely. They whisper the most dangerous sweet nothings into our ears and goad us into misdirections. Thankfully Amma destroys pride and ego in us. When we go through calamities and difficult periods - when everything seems bleak and nothing seems to be going our way - that is Amma's way of crushing our ego. Our pride. Of destroying every shred of pride so that we can relook at our life and see exactly where we are seeing ourselves being bigger than our creator. Where we are holding on tightly to the reins of our life and refusing to let go. The difficult period is a huge wake up call. And the sooner we realise Amma is the driver of this journey called life, the better it will be for us. For that is when we can sit back and truly enjoy this divine journey!

Om Amriteswariye namah!    

Amma, the divine Mother to all!

158. Om nir-madayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is without pride

She can change the entire world in a heartbeat. She can stand in the paths of our karma and redefine our destiny. She can alter the course of history. She for sure has altered our present. And yet this small lady from Kerala walks without pride.

Even as I write this, thousands have congregated in Amritapuri to spend the festive season with Amma.  The numbers have only grown over the years. It is an ever growing number. Her devotees around the world are connected like a happy family. It's like a country. The currency we deal in, is love and compassion. It's so easy to walk into an unknown environment and instantly connect with at leads one other person, if not more, who know of Amma. Who will reach out to your locket or bracelet because it is a symbol of Amma. Who will say: "I've heard of Amma. I really want to see Her." When was the last time someone was known to a fisherman in Sri Lanka and a governor in America? And yet, Amma has not changed over the years. Amritapuri started off as Amma's extremely humble quarters. Today it's got several buildings including the temples, accommodation quarters, dining hall etc. Amma's footsteps have grown to include several colleges, hospitals, orphanages, centers, soup kitchens. Thousands are benefitted by Amma's numerous humanitarian activities every day. Thousands speak Her name a few times every day. We remember Her ever so often. She's our undisputed spiritual leader and God.

And yet, Amma has no pride in the place She occupies in the world. She does not look down on us, Her devotees. She sees us as nature does: the seat of God. She treats each of us with care and concern. With love and compassion. It's the only language She speaks. She is as much God to Tumban as She is to me. As much to you as to Dattan, the leper. There is no pride in everything Amma has achieved. Only a sense of purpose to do even more for everyone. Amma's always doing something for others. But more importantly She walks the talk. Everything She propagates, She practices. But it would be unfair to even think this task possible for us. Because being able to obliterate pride in oneself requires super human strength. And She for certain, is divine.

Om Amriteswariye namah! 

A selfless world by Amma!

157. Om raga-mathanayai namah: I bow down to Amma who destroys desires (passions)

We live our worldly existence enmeshed in desires that lead us up the path of disappointments. All we keep doing is wanting either material things or we desire the impossible. Each desire creates a air bubble of selfishness around us. We basically set ourselves up for a life of wants.

Christmas is the celebration of the life of Christ and of the selflessness He stood for. On the day of christmas, we should possibly re-look at our lives and our list for Santa! Being under the umbrella of Amma, we need to re-write that list. Less desires for ourselves and more that include the world. Just as Amma teaches us to. Just as Amma would want us to.
1. We want everyone in the world to be happy. There is no ceiling on happiness. We create it as we go along. And the more we include others in this, the bigger the aura of happiness will get.
2. We want no one to be without food. How sad is that? Imagine the pangs of hunger hitting us and not a morsel to eat in front of us. Or worse still, having to worry about how to feed our children. Or worrying about where the next meal will come from. It is unfair to ever have to worry about something like that. And may no one ever have to go through this. Ever.
3. We want everyone to live without fear. The only way out of this horrible maze of fear is to totally, unconditionally surrender to Amma. If I can't be sure if I will be able to even take my next step, how can I possibly worry about tomorrow?? Is it even up to me? Then isn't it just better to leave that next step, that tomorrow to Amma? Because She knows and She cares. And thus She will make it alright.
4. May we all have the opportunity to be under the umbrella of Amma's grace. ALWAYS. It's the only place to be. There are times when the desire to see Amma is so overwhelming. Like now.

Thank you Amma for taking away our worldly desires which only result in pain. Let us learn to look beyond ourselves and do the best we can for the world around us.

Om Amriteswariye namah! 

The state of no-desire!

156. Om niragayai namah: I bow down to Amma who has no desire

Except one, perhaps. To see Her children happy and contented. To see us on the path of spiritual awakening. Amma always wants only the best for us. So these would be Her desires. But Amma has no desire for Herself. She is selfless. The very act of selflessness has been given definition by Her acts. Who else in the world would never want anything for Herself but only for the multitudes who come to see Her?

I once read a rather moving story about Amma, in matruvani. This happened during the early days of the ashram when Amma only had a handful of devotees. It was onam and all Her devotees had gone to celebrate onam with their families. Amma stood by the shore watching and waiting for Her devotees to come and enjoy a sadya with Her. She kept looking out for Her children to join Her. I remember reading this story and feeling sad. To think that Amma had had to wait for Her children to come to Her during such an important festival! My Amma, alone!! Look how time has passed when today Amma can possibly have not even a moment to Herself. And how well Amma has adapted to, if I may use the oft abused word: fame. She remains the same unassuming person She always has been. In fact, these very hands that console and calm us, have shaken hands with heads of state and important decision makers around the world. And yet they see no difference between me and a president of a country. For Amma who desires nothing, there is no difference. We are all surrounded by equal measure of Her love and that is all that matters.

Amma's children are Her life. Everything worldly that Amma deals with, is only because of us. She reaches out to us worldly beings and does everything She can to make our lives as comfortable as possible. Comforts She happily relinquishes for Herself, are handed over to us on a platter. Amma has said that She only desires peace in the world. She only desires happiness for Her children. And amazingly, She achieves this desire through a state of absolute no-desire.

Om Amriteswariye namah!

The divine supreme Amma!

155. Om nir-isvarayai namah: I bow down to Amma who has no superior or protector

Amma has no superior or protector because She is the superior most being ever. She is the protector of the world. Of everyone who has taken refuge at Her feet. Amma is the only person in the world who can protect us and take care of us. How lucky we are. Earlier, when we did not know Amma, we put our faith in Gods and Goddesses we had never seen or heard. We trusted in folklore and on stories passed down generations. We went with a religion that had been modified with time's several touch ups. What was the truth? We didn't know. It was all hearsay. And a faith born out of fear. Be good or else....

And then Amma was born. Variously, in our lives. I learnt of Amma 2 decades ago. And then a sea change happened. Every moment of despair or happiness had a resting ground. Even today, when I am stressed or happy, I refer the emotion to Amma. She tells me how best to handle it. While for the most part I understand and live the fact that Amma truly has no superior and that She is the protector, every once in a while, shaken by a human weakness, I buckle. Faith is such an innocuous word but highly misunderstood. I hope that by doing regular sadhna and prayers, my faith becomes immovable. Wherein I begin to realise and see Amma not only as a protector but also as the ultimate policeman, the judge, the doctor, the spiritualist. In short, the perfect Guru. Which is what She is. I just don't have the eyes to see it yet.

Please continue weaving Your magic in my life. PLEASE! Please protect and bless me and my family every minute of every day. Because truly you are the tree that provides the divine shade. The shade our weary minds ache to sit in and bask in the glow of Your supreme beauty and divinity!

Om Amriteswariye namah!

One moment at a time!

154. Om nir-upadhaye namah: I bow down to Amma who is not conditioned or has no limitations

There are so many things that limit us and our flight on various paths. Our many worldly attachments, for one. Our upbringing and our conditioning, for another. Amma is tied down with neither. Because She is spiritually guided by the Universal divine power, She sees Herself as someone who needs to live only the present. Worldly attachments and conditioning teach us to live for the future dictated by a past. In this equation, we have totally bypassed the present. Amma's teaching instructs us to live ONLY in the present. So while today I am wondering about my travel tomorrow and what will happen 24 hrs later and what possibilities can take place and consuming myself with worry, what I should be doing instead is dedicating this present moment to Amma. In the full knowledge that Amma will take care, I should let go totally of my past and my future and concentrate on the present. This moment. This NOW. This instant when I can enjoy and revel in it by taking Amma's name. By being in awe of Her splendor. Why worry about things beyond our control? Why are we so prone to inflicting ourselves with pain? Why do we reach out and grab a wisp of our future? The future is always out of our reach. But this present moment is here. And Amma's in it.

This is such a big lesson Amma teaches us during darshan but how blind we are! She meets thousands of devotees and She lives a thousand "NOW" moments. Each devotee gets Her full attention. She laughs or cries with them. She lives that moment with them. There is nobody from the past that clouds Her NOW. Each of us walks away as if we were all that mattered to Amma!! And for that moment when we were in Her arms, that was the present truth. That's what Amma is hoping to teach us. Enjoy the moment instead of worrying about tomorrow when the world may end. She hasn't been burdened by anything. The only truth She is walking on, is LOVE. And compassion. And how wonderfully She has built bridges that have brought together people from all over the world. I envy everyone going to Amritapuri at this time of the year. Imagine the good luck of ending 2013 and starting 2014 by Amma's side! How supremely divine. Such a year can only be blessed every minute of the 365 days. Each minute at a time.

Allow us the grace to live a minute at a time. Allow us the grace to enjoy our present and leave the burdens of the past and the anxiety of the future, in Your hands. You can see the map. After all, You made it for me. I can only see the next step. And maybe that's how you meant it. One step at a time. So we savor the journey all the way to the very end. So we have the time to count our many Amma blessings, unhindered by conditioning or perceived limitations.

Om Amriteswariye namah!

Pure, Pristine Amma!

153. Om nis-kalankayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is faultless

Why is it that at every temple or place of worship, I only think of Amma? I sometimes wonder if this might be a sin, standing in a place dedicated to one God and praying to another. But then I realise - or rather, I tell myself, that God per se is only one. The one who lives in our hearts in the one. We can give God any name - Krishna, Devi, Christ...but what is important is how we seat them within our hearts. Thankfully, the word for me, is Amma.

I wish my life would revolve 24 hours around Amma. How wonderful a life would be to have it dedicated to Amma ? Where Amma is our filter. Filtering our thoughts, words, speech. Wherein we will never make a mistake. Never hurt anyone with our words or thoughts or actions. Where we begin to live our lives in exactly the way Amma has asked us to. Actually Amma doesn't 'ask' us to. She walks the talk by living a righteous and virtuous life. Her example is Her life. She is pure and faultless. Like a flower, giving of it's fragrance and its beauty. Amma takes nothing from us and takes selflessness to a whole new level. She works on love and when one is so earnest and true to the world, how can they be touched by any vice? She is faultless because She  is everything pure and clean in this world.

I had an incredible experience at a gurudwara recently where a friend had organized 'seva'. So even though my friend was donating food, the gurudwara required you to be there cutting vegetables and helping even in the preparation of the food. Sitting there for 3 hours cutting and chopping made me realise the power of seva. And it also made me realise just how much Amma works everyday, without any rest. To Amma hours do not matter. Time just melts from one unit to the other. And Amma continues hugging till She has satisfied each of Her children. For Amma, it isn't about writing about this or talking to Her friends about it. It is the equivalent of doing Her dharma. And She does it, with as much love and eagerness thrown in as possible.

Thank You Amma for ensuring we are a part of this spiritual revolution this world is slowly witnessing.

Om Amriteswariye namah!
   

Keeping our faith alive!

152. Om nis-karanayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is without cause

I don't know what the real and actual meaning of this mantra is but for me, it works this way: Amma has no one cause that She takes up. She is with every cause and yet with none. Everything and everyone is of equal importance to Her. We are each of us equal in Her eyes. My problems are as significant to Amma as a poor woman from a remote town in India. They hold as much importance as an actor in America. For Amma, we are no different. The only difference lies in the faith we hold within us.

Amma has taken up each cause and each fight I have ever had to undergo. She has ensured that I am protected at all times. And today, a miracle happened to someone who has been touched by Amma just recently. After 3 years of working and waiting, she finally got what she had been waiting for. And she has only just recently come into Amma's fold. She sent a prayer and Amma answered. She sent it with a faith that is born out of having seen the depths of despair. It was a faith bundled with no other emotion except pain. And Amma answered. Isn't that just beautiful? She has never met Amma but decided to place her faith in our Mother. And Mother answered.

That's the beauty of this entire journey with Amma. We need to place our unadulterated, unquestioning faith in Her, in the absolute knowledge that Amma will always look out for us. She will always ensure our happiness. Her primary concern, is us. Let's not get waylaid by life's many paths. Life will show us many tertiary roads with all their glitches but the main one we are on, is the spiritual path laid out by Amma. Let's not confuse the side roads for the actual one. When things may not immediately go according to plan, let us not question and fume. This is the equivalent of walking off into the side roads and meandering away from the set path. If we keep our heads down and plod on with unwavering faith, Amma will always show us the light. She is showing it to us anyways. But if we walk off, how possibly can we glimpse it or bathe in the light?

Help us Amma, to walk on the right path. Help us to keep our faith alive. Help us to realise that we are mere mortals with no control even over the next second. The key to the next breath, lies only with You. And may this be Your cause for us.

Om Amriteswariye namah!

A temple for Amma!

151. Om nir-antarayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is all-pervading

Just as the cool wind soothes each of us irrespective of color, race, creed, gender or social status, so also  Amma soothes each of us like a cool breeze. She is all pervading, present in everything. Thus this mantra is beautiful for me. If Amma is suffused in everything around us, we really are never far from Her, are we? She is present in everything around us. She is also within us, in our hearts. And just as we clean the precincts of the altar squeaky clean everyday and light the lamp of knowledge and wisdom, so also we have to keep our hearts clean. Because Amma lives there. If that is our temple, we must sweep it clean of hatred, jealousy and every other possible feeling that creates tension in our body. Aren't these feelings just the worst? When they start with a tightness in the chest and a feeling of tension all over. How then can Amma, the epitome of love and compassion, live and love freely within us? How can we possibly create a good space for someone as pristine and pure as Amma to dwell in? If we can choke with tears at just the thought of Amma being in our lives, how can we ever impurify the space that She definitely dwells in? Just because we can't physically see Her dwelling in our hearts means nothing. She is there, dictating every thought, every emotion. And isn't that such a comforting thought knowing that we are for certain guided by the Mother of the Universe Herself? That our every thought and action is being lovingly moulded by Her? But we perforce drag in negative emotions, Amma will have no place to dwell. She will need to exit quietly.

So let us only have the nicest and the best of thoughts. For ourselves and for others. May we live with the wonderful attitude of having compassion for everyone. Loving others as Amma loves us. For then our hearts will truly be temples. Temples, worthy of the divine Mother.

Om Amriteswariye namah! 

Faith, at all times!

150. Om nir-avadyayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is blameless or praiseworthy

I am sorry, Amma. For when I chanted the prayers this morning, I doubted. I was upset. I cried because my faith slipped. If only for a few minutes but it slipped. And that hurt really bad. I wondered where You were. Were You even seeing me and hearing me? Did You have any idea what I was going through? Had You felt the deluge of my tears at all?

Thankfully the painful moment passed. It had to. Because You are blameless. How can I possibly forget everything You have consistently done for me? How can I ever doubt? That would truly be the greatest sin of all. How can I ever wonder if Amma is listening to me or not? She always has and She always will. There is no point measuring Amma against normal human limits because beyond doubt, Amma is divine. So what She can do isn't for us to fathom. Or doubt.

I am sorry, Amma. For even those fleeting moments of unwanted tears. But I think the pain was more in the fact that I was missing You. And still am. I crave a darshan with You. I wish I could see You right now. I wish, someway or the other, I could glimpse You. Feel Your presence. But that is my shortcoming. You are omnipresent. Looking after each of Your children, every minute of the day. We need only polish our faith and we will then be able to feel Your beautiful presence in our lives. We need only ask.

Today I hope I never lose my faith in You ever again. I hope I am able to realize the blessing the universe has bestowed on me by ensuring that I am a part of Your life. I hope I can always see You embracing me ever so tightly even in the darkest of times. Allow me this grace, Amma.

Om Amriteswariye namah!

The tree of wisdom!

149. Om nitya-buddhayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is ever wise

She only studied till grade 4 or 5. And yet the knowledge and wisdom Amma has isn't something gathered from mere books. Her wisdom is that which can be found in the scriptures, which yet again is the knowledge distilled over centuries. The halo surrounding Amma is brimming with spiritual acumen. Amma sees what the ordinary eye cannot even fathom. Amma knows what the mind can never  perceive. Amma feels what even the minutest of fluctuations cannot emit. My ever wise Amma is the fount of wisdom because She is the Universal Truth. Everything arises from Her. The Sun rises because Amma wills it to. My life path may take a certain turn because Amma has decided that is the road I need to walk to become a better person; a more spiritually evolved person.  

Amma's wisdom knows no boundaries. It cannot be contained within the crisp pages of books. We stand in a line, men, women, young, old, Indian, American, Australian, Japanese. Disabled. Mentally fraught. Each of us has walked our own route with different experiences and different life lessons. And yet, Amma has answered the questions that millions have brought to Her doorstep. Be it questions about marriage, school, work, relationships, health, wealth...Amma knows the simplest and most effective answer to each of our questions. Because She lives in a very simple sphere of life, Her answers reflect that simplicity. And yet, they come not from such a simple realm but from a deep understanding of life. She has seen pain and suffering as much as She has seen joy and wealth. And this is an invaluable fountain She drinks from. Amma's wisdom isn't bookish. She teaches from lessons She has seen for Herself. And thus us able to shape us well for what lies ahead.

Thank you Amma for being You. For helping me on this journey of life. I know I ask numerous questions of You. I also know that when You embrace me and give me an answer, You are not just providing me an answer. You are making me privy to Your vast wisdom. And to that, I am eternally grateful!

Om Amriteswariye namah! 

That pure embrace!

148. Om nitya suddhayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is eternally pure

Pure is an oft repeated word. It is used loosely to describe various things. Food, organic, in it's purest form. Pure water. Pure thoughts, undiluted by the sinister or the dirty. Intentions, as pure as milk.

A pure heart, born of love. A mind whose only intention is to bring a smile to everyone's face. Arms that reach out relentlessly, untiringly, to embrace thousands and thousands so that each life can walk away with a meaning. Amma, who understands the strains of everyday life and knows that each of us is seeking our own paradise, our own home grown method of creating some sort of peace in our worlds. We rake our way through the many unexpected twists and turns of life hoping to stay out of harms way and walk the required distance with as much happiness as possible. Who's clearing the snow in front of us? We ourselves. Supposedly. What Amma does after entering our lives is that She takes over the shovel and begins clearing all obstacles. Amma ensures that once undiluted faith is placed in Her hands, She reduces the karma along the way and makes it a smooth ride. All She wants in return is for us to lead a life free of vices. A life laden with compassion and love.

And this is how Amma, the eternally pure Mother of the universe, goes about ensuring that each of Her children not only is happy but also shares a portion of Her purity. Each hug of Hers divests us of some of our wickedness. And regular heartfelt prayer takes a long, twisted stab at each of our iniquities, hoping to clean us up and keep us as pure as She can. We have to be pure because our Mother is pure. Hopefully we apples haven't fallen too far away from the Tree. Hopefully we will do everything we can to inculcate all the right values She constantly teaches us. Hopefully the purity we display will make a big difference in the lives of everyone we come in contact with. And we must do it. We must change. Not so much for ourselves but for Amma. For a small woman from Kerala who has put Her life, Her comfort on a back burner only so that our lives, our future can be enlightened and happy.

Om Amriteswariye namah!

In the arms of Amma's infinite love!

147. Om nir-asrayayai namah: I bow down to Amma who does not depend on anything

Amma does not of course depend on anything or anyone. She is self sufficient. And that is exactly how we should be too. We need not depend on anything at all. Why should we when we have Amma? She is the ultimate destination. She is the resting place where we can seek solace from our life weary world. Or world weary lives. The best thing about Amma is that She is our friend. We can tell Her anything. There is little point adding to our pain by telling friends about our sadness or our problems. They may feel secretly happy about our problems. Even if they feel sad, there is little they can do about it. So the ultimate friend to have is Amma. She listens and She is nonjudgmental. She will never laugh at our problems or gossip about it to others. She will find us the solution. She will sort everything out for us. So let us depend only on Amma with total unadulterated faith, for salvation.

How many of us have felt a massive sense of relief unburdening everything to Amma? There's something so reassuring in being in front of Amma and handing over all our problems to Her. We know She will find the correct solution for it. She will place it in the right slot and see to it that we, Her children, are happy. It's like boarding a train with luggage. As Amma points out would we continue carrying our luggage? We would, without hesitation, lay it down. Thus also for our problems. Once at Amma's feet, hand over all our problems to Her. And then sit back in the joyous realization that Amma will sort it all out for us. There can be no other way. Because first and foremost She is our Mother. And She will always hold us close to Her heart, in the safety of Her love. May we thus learn to depend on nothing or no one except Amma's infinite love and wisdom.

Om Amriteswariye namah!

Amma, my universe!

146. Om nis-prapancayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is not of this universe

In the 18 years of my life that I spent without knowing of Amma, I knew of virtues like kindness,  compassion, goodness. I knew of people who helped others. I knew of the concept of God. I knew of faith.

After I met Amma, I learnt it all over again. For the first time I realized that kindness, compassion, goodness could go beyond what I had seen. Amma showed me that virtues had no boundaries. It flowed like a river, giving life to everything it touched. For the first time I realized what it was to help another. Amma's concept of helping us was of another dimension altogether. She was giving up every possible material and physical comfort only so that we would walk away with a feeling of calmness and peace. For the first time I realized that God wasn't encased in a gold framed picture but instead wore a white saree and gave me immense solace. For the first time I realized that faith wasn't something we bribed God with. We asked with love and complete trust. And Amma answered with as much love as She could.

My entire perception changed. And it continues to change even today because every time I meet Amma, I take away a little more of Her than I did before. My faith digs its heels in a few inches more. My adoration of Her, which I thought had already reached its peak, swells even more. And I wonder just how much have we truly seen of Her? How incredible will that day be when She reveals Her true nature to us? Her true divinity?! Because Amma is not of this universe. Or rather, She isn't just of this universe. She is the empress of every possible universe. She pervades everything. Everywhere. She is after all, the universe for each one of us.

Om Amriteswariye namah!  

The unchanging season of love!

145. Om nir-vikarayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is unchanging

Seasons change. In the natural order of things, there is a sunrise and a sunset. A winter followed by spring and summer. And then the fall. A day that passes and a tomorrow that transitions into today. And yet, the essence of everything in nature is the same. Unchanging. Whether it's a sunrise or a sunset, the sun is still there, shining. It's the earth that's moved away.

That's exactly how it is with Amma. She's the same. Every time, With everyone. She'll never welcome one person with more love than another. Each of us is sent away with a sweet and vibhuti. Another devotee may get a banana or an apple but that's Amma's way of an extra hug for someone who needs it more than the other. That extra blanket...Sometimes I feel Amma doesn't even look different a year on. It's the same divine, smiling face that holds in it the entire world's love and compassion. It's these qualities that totally define Amma's divinity.

When we mere mortals are unchanging, it isn't a positive quality. What we actually are, is unyielding. Refusing to sense the change in the direction of the wind. Stubborn, adamant. Amma's unchanging is beautiful. It's Her belief in the divinity present in each of us. That's a life principle for Amma and this is what makes Her treat each of us with so much love and sensitivity. She is aware of the battles we are fighting everyday. She is aware of the thorny paths we traverse and all She is doing is helping us along. She makes no differentiation between the rich and the poor; between the fair and the dark. She loves us for the presence of the divine within us. Not for what we wear or how much money we have or don't have. She is love. And that is the supremely unchanging quality in Her. That is what makes Amma the divine Mother of the Universe. That is what makes a man from Manhattan love Her as much as a villager from India. Amma reaches out to each of us with equal love. I wish we could do that. Instead of being blinded by color and prejudiced by race, I wish we could take a leaf from Amma's book and see Amma in each other. Accept each other and wear that precious cloak on nonjudgement. And then what a beautiful world we'd live in! There would be no strife, no hurt. We'd be like the sun. Just giving of oneself as much as we can. Help us Amma, achieve this. Let us be Your perfect conduits to spread as much happiness in the world as we possibly can!

Om Amriteshwariye namah!

A bond of love!

144. Om nitya-muktayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is ever free from worldly bonds

She has nothing to take from this materialistic world. She has nothing of possible interest in money or clothes. She has a family and yet has no family. She is rich and yet devoid of material possessions. She has the means and yet is happy living a frugal life. Every penny of what She receives from devotees goes into creating wealth in the lives of the poor and needy. She has and yet She doesn't. And either ways it doesn't matter. Because for Amma, the only thing that has ever mattered is to remove suffering from this world.

Many centuries ago, the world saw another mahatma, Lord Buddha. He too saw the suffering in the world and renounced everything material. He broke away all worldly bonds and searched for the meaning of life. Amma has worked Her asceticism so beautifully to fit into this present day. She runs Her trust even better than qualified CEO's of multi million dollar companies. But Her essential dharma will always be to console and calm us; to give us that much needed shade under the tree of Her grace. That is the only medicine for our battered souls. None of us survive without worldly bonds. It's what keeps us, strangely, rooted! And yet what use is this tree if it's roots have taken a firm hold in quick sand? Worldly bonds are exactly that. Quick sand. Nothing is the same from one day to the other. It changes rapidly like the winds. Spiritual peace however gives us a calmness and peace that defies everything else including our surrounding. We can't wish away our enemies or our circumstances. But we can politely show them the exit door by filling our hearts with thoughts of Amma. If my heart is overflowing with Amma, how can even a drop of vice find a place within?

The reason we do not give up our worldly bonds is because there is a pleasure in that zone. Short lived but pleasurable nevertheless. But Amma sees the bigger picture. She sees how transitory all this is. Maya. Illusion. For Her, the only everlasting bond is that of love. A circle of love that She embraces each of Her children with. Every day.

Om Amriteswariye namah!

An indestructible force!

143. Om nir-upaplavayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is indestructible

How does one destroy air? How does one destroy kindness? How can we remove the sun? Amma is indestructible because each quality of Hers is divine. She Herself is from the Universal order. The way we are meant to be. Her divinity as much a part of Her as it is of the Universe's machinery. The only way forward onto a higher spiritual plane, is on the path set for us by this indestructible power house of divinity, whose most amazing virtue is Her simplicity: Amma.

This year has seen many vicissitudes. Even during the dips, I knew Amma was there for me. Sometimes though I wish my faith in Her was as indestructible as She is. But I'm only human and prone to faltering. As the countdown to the new year begins, here are my hopes for a better tomorrow:

Amma, please give me the courage to vanquish fear in the new year.
Please give me the honesty required to stand my ground at all times.
Keep me so busy that I have no time for petty talk. My mind should only be occupied with work, family and You.
Please give me the wisdom to keep a part of my salary and give back to the world as much as I can. For  as You always teach us, true happiness comes in giving.
Please allow me to keep in touch with good friends and never lose sight of them. They are rare finds. People You have chosen to be our partners through life. And those You choose can only be good for our spiritual growth.
Teach me to be non-judgemental and patient. These are virtues You always exhibit with such incredible ease and yet only we know how difficult these virtues are to come by.
Tutor me to love people around me. Let me remove the scales of negativity and radiate as much positivity as possible.
Help me to regain my trust in people. You must hold my hand through this particular journey.
Please keep a tight grip on me, Amma. I want every moment spent thinking of You, to be perfect. Give me the grace to enjoy this journey!

Om Amriteswariye namah!

This selfless soul!

142. Om nis-kamayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is without desire

Selflessness is a virtue that Amma has embraced whole heartedly ever since She was born. Her only mission, dharma in life is to love others. To help everyone and wipe away every tear that may ever fall from Her children's eyes is what Amma will always do. This is what defines Amma.

Amma can sit for hours and reach out and hug Her devotees. She has given up every material comfort only so that this life can be dedicated to Her children. Us. She has no desires for Herself. Each microcosm of desire that may ever rise is only for Her children. Each hug Amma gives is wrapped with a thread of desire: to fulfill Her children's wishes. We stand there in that long, snaking queue, with wishes welling up in our hearts. As we reach Amma, we are already asking Amma for peace, money, happiness, calm, a good relationship etc. And Amma grants us everything. Never do we go back empty handed. She will take a sankalpa for our health or our peace of mind; She will reach out and give us an extra apple to take home to our children; She will listen gravely as we recount a sad story. She will give of Herself as much as She can. If it requires Her to sit for hours on end just to put a smile on our faces, She will. If it means that Amma is there giving darshan when we go to sleep and still there when we wake up after a 7 hour rest, so be it. Amma's dedication to our happiness is so incredibly intense. It is so pure. There is no agenda, no planning. Just a simple desire to make us smile and to make our journeys in life worthwhile.

The world has never, ever seen a mahatma like Amma. The world has never witnessed the presence of a selfless soul like Her. There is no celebration of Her achievements. Amma does it quietly, gently. Like the blowing of the breeze. Like everything in nature that only gives of itself and never asks for anything in return. We bow down in gratitude to You, Amma!

Om Amriteswariye namah!

An ocean of calm!

141. Om santayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is tranquil

I remember a cute moment from Amma's visit this year. It was the end of the last darshan and Amma had a plane to catch. She called out to the volunteers to hurry up with the darshan queue. And yet She wanted absolutely everyone in the hall, including security personnel, to have Her darshan. Time was ticking by and yet, She waited till everyone had had darshan. In fact, She called out to everyone to come and receive darshan. It was beautiful watching this Goddess, despite a time crunch, making sure that all Her children received darshan. And as She left the hall, She was surrounded by crying faces, grateful faces, happy faces. And in the midst of this emotional sea, stood Amma. Tranquil. Unagitated. Living in that moment. Enjoying the love of Her children.

Amma meets on an average 6000 to 7000 troubled and emotional souls every day. Their stories move Amma deeply. And yet Amma stays tranquil through it all. When I reach Amma through the darshan queue, Amma is unattached to anyone else or anyone's problems. Her entire attention is focussed on me. Never once in all the darshans I have had with Amma, have I ever felt Her attention was diverted or that She seemed preoccupied. Isn't that incredible? This is me, one devotee. It's everyone's story. Millions and millions of them. Which means each moment, Amma is alive to what surrounds Her. She can meet us a year later and remember details. It must stem from that immense and deep tranquility that pervades Her which allows every moment to take on a significance and become embedded deeply in Her mind.

That's exactly how we should lead our lives. Once again, Amma leads by example. Tranquil, peaceful. As much at peace in Her depths as She is on the surface. But this is a tough act to follow. Because it is virtually impossible for us to stick a foot in worldliness and yet remain calm. But for Amma, this is no difficult feat. For Her, life is dictated purely by love. And every virtue like tranquility, is but a by-product of this immense ocean of Love.

Om Amriteswariye namah!

In part or in whole, She is perfect!

140. Om nis-kalayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is without parts

“Amma, te queremos” (Amma, we love you). This is what devotees in Barcelona chanted, when Amma was leaving. That's exactly how we feel when Amma's hugging the last few devotees after devi bhava. When we know that now Amma is going to leave the hall. And the next time we see Her, will be a year later! For virtually everyone who knows Amma, She isn't just a guru. She's a way of life for us. A day that is defined by activities centering on Her. A morning prayer of gratitude. The lighting of the lamp. A small whisper to Amma doll. The lamp in the evening. The chanting. The good night prayer. Meditation. A day well spent, Amma-centric. Not just a deity but a guru who has changed our very moral fibre. And thankfully so too.

Amma isn't just about a collection of spiritual parts. She's an entire divine institution in Herself. A lesson in life and on life. If compassion had a face and form, it would look exactly like Amma. If love were to take a garb, Amma would be it. She is the very definition of love, patience, compassion, beauty. She has made such a big difference in the lives of millions. She has rewritten the destinies of each of us. Imagine a life where we did not have Amma in our life. I shudder to think what life paths we may have walked down. It scares me to even consider how life may have panned out had I not had Amma's overwhelming grace, protection and love in my life! She's cleansed me in so many ways. She's taken the dark edge off so many of my bad karma days. She's sent so many angels in the guise of family and friends to carry Her messages to me. She's working tirelessly every day so that I may sleep without fear and lead a happy life! To such a Mother, I surrender myself wholeheartedly. I lay myself by Your feet Amma and may You do what You wish, with me and my ego. Use me as a vehicle of Your mission. May I be worthy of Your time. Allow me to surrender my ego by Your feet. Crush it gently so I may grow. Do whatever You need to do for my life Amma. For You are my everything. In part and whole. As the spaniards would say, Te Quiero, Amma! Forever and ever!

Om Amriteswariye namah!

The mighty Oak. And the blade of grass!

139. Om nir-gunayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is beyond all three gunas of nature, namely sattva, rajas and tamas.

Each of our behavior according to ancient science, is governed by the food we eat. Sattvic diets cause our minds to turn inwards and behave in a pure fashion. Rajasic is governed by rich foods that make us rather excitable and agitated. Tamasic creates an indifference in us. A slowness, bordering on inertia. Because we are wordily beings easily influenced even by the food that goes in, we are still living very much on the surface.

But Amma is obviously beyond such categorizations. It matters not if Her surrounding or the food or the company is sattvic, raja sic or tamasic in nature. Amma's core nature is so strongly divine that nothing can sway Her. She is like the blade of grass during a storm. And yet She is like the Oak tree. She can give the impression of moving without actually having stirred. Her soul is stolid. Nothing agitates Her because Her faith in the universal divinity is supreme. She knows the order of the world (After all, She created it!) and is comfortable in the order. It matters not whether the world is undergoing turbulence or peace: Amma's inherent nature will always stay the same. Her dharma is to love us unconditionally and that is what Amma will always do.

Taking yet another leaf from Amma's life, this is exactly how we are meant to be. To be beyond our surrounding. To be able to feel the calmness from within. To be able to pour out so much faith that the Divine order cannot but reach out to fulfill our desires. To stay within the circle and yet not be affected by what's in it. That's the ultimate tribute we can pay our Guru. She has spent every moment of Her life teaching us a detachment from worldliness and an attachment to God. The best way to show our thanks to Amma would be to emulate Her. To show Her that yes, I am not attached. To things worldly or otherwise. The only attachment I know, is to God. For most of us, our Guru is our God. So, to Amma. Nothing else matters. It never has and never will. And that will truly be our best foot forward.

Om Amriteswariye namah!  

The calm and still self of Amma!

138. Om nir-akulayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is without agitation

Isn't this mantra just brilliant! And true! We go through life fluttering with every breeze that passes our way. Some days, with the blowing of the breeze, we totally stoop. In desperation. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Some days, we allow it to waft through, enjoying the challenge or the joy it brings. But never a day does go by when our innermost veneer hasn't been stirred or agitated either for the good or the bad. Rarely do we have serene moments of no agitation.

Amma is that placid lake. She lives in the moment. How else can Amma enjoy one devotee's good news so much and laugh with joy and in the next moment console yet another devotee in the throes of sadness? Because beyond the worldly state, Amma is truly in a serene state of no agitation. We are so affected by our friends stories. Or our neighbors misfortunes. Imagine if Amma allowed each story that reaches Her spiritual garden to affect Her?! On an average day, when Amma gives at the very least about 7000 darshans, imagine being agitated 7000 times! Amma lives without the worldly turbulence we allow ourselves to face. And in this mantra is a big inspiration hidden for each of us. Amma wants us to be so spiritually charged, that we are able to look an event in the eye and bring about an attitude of acceptance. Which loosely also translates into faith. If we accept the situation, we are accepting God's will and plans for us. This for the moment, is Amma's plan for me. And She will ONLY do what is perfectly right for me. For my spiritual growth.

When I am able to understand and ingrain this faith within each particle of me, that's when I will actually stand in a land of no agitation. Because then the spiritual and divine order will make perfect sense. I will not have to look skywards and wonder at the unfolding. I will walk with trust and my head held high. For faith is not only a great teacher. It's also the finest healer the world has ever known.

Om Amriteswariye namah!

My omnipresent Amma!

137. Om nir-akarayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is without form

Amma truly has no form. In fact, doesn't Amma always tell us to see Her in others? Why? Only because this overwhelming love we feel for Her, should be felt ideally, for everyone. For all of humanity! When Amma can see divinity in each of us, why can't we see Amma in each other? I personally find it very difficult. Because I have given Amma a pedestal to stand on and a definitive form. But I also know that She is an ever flowing ocean of compassion. She can work Her magic through anyone. And if She does do that, isn't it then obvious that She manifests Herself in others? That we should really see Her in others? Which logically means that She is present everywhere and in everyone. It is a stretch to imagine this for mere mortals like us, who are limited by vices like hatred and  dislike, but Amma never wants us to remain mere mortals. On our spiritual journey, She wishes for us to evolve onto a higher level.

Yes I have put Amma in a special place but I also enjoy the thought that Amma is everywhere, in everything. Formless. A spiritual presence that pervades the whole world. Like a reassuring fragrance. She's there in that rose nodding quietly to the wind. She's there in the innocent face of the trusting dog. She's there in the nectar that a bee is sucking. She's there in the smile of our children. She's there in the flutter of the breeze. She's there in my neighbor's welcoming smile. The important message here from Amma, is that She is there. Everywhere. Where there is space for innocence, happiness, faith, trust, She will be there. A presence in the order of nature. Haven't you ever felt Amma's presence in a room or next to you? Just for that micro second you felt strongly that Amma was there, right next to you. The moment was fleeting but the happiness kept you buoyed up for hours. That's Amma. Quietly slipping by our side if only to give us a much needed reassuring hug and to tell us that our unyielding faith has been rewarded.

You are after all the creator of the universe. Isn't it but obvious that we would find You pervading every breath around us? And in that reassuring thought, we take our next breath!

Om Amriteswariye namah!

For ever and ever...!

136. Om nityayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is eternal

Over the past few months, I have known of a few friends parents who have passed away. There one moment. Safe. Sure. The next micro moment, gone. For ever. The great final axe. No more of any importance their greatness. Or the carpets they bought. Or the fanciest restaurants they may have been to. Or the darndest things they attempted. Just, gone. Their only legacy being the wonderful children they have left behind. And everyone would then speak of them as souls who were incredible or honest or all the good they had done.

And that really should be our legacy. For every dollar we earn, don't just donate a percentage. In fact, by right it shouldn't be called "donate" but to rightfully "give back" from where we took. For every year we have lived, we should have done so much good that we've made a difference in many lives. So much good that when the bones have turned to ashes, should one sift through the remains, only goodness should be found. What's the point of being mean or using words to hurt? Why leave a trail of blistering hurt behind us? Why can't there be such fine footsteps that should someone decide to retrace our steps, they should be overwhelmed by the dust of virtue we have left behind?

Like Amma. Every step of Amma's is so in the present moment. She is so aware of everything She does, every word She speaks, that She does it in the best possible way. The nicest words. All Her actions are only meant to soothe us. Her only intention, dharma is to spread love. To calm us, to make us feel better, to give our lives much needed purpose. She is only here to embrace all of humanity and dry every tear that is ever shed. Her higher purpose is to give us one. To put us on a spiritual path from where we can never go wrong. From where the destination becomes more endearing and acceptable. Where acceptance is a joy. And this is why a great soul like Amma is eternal. Because through each of Her actions and words, an unerasable path has been laid out on which generations and generations of spiritual seekers will learn to walk the talk.

Om Amriteswariye namah!

The shimmer of purity!

135. Om nir-malayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is free from all impurities

Of course She is. Where there is love, there can be no space for impurity. When a cup is full, can we ever hope to pour anything else into it? Amma's cup is full of love. How possibly can any vice be mixed into this? Everything about Amma, whether it is to do with Her physical appearance, Her words, Her thoughts, Her actions: there is not even a sliver of impurity. It's the purest thought, word, deed, look that one can ever hope to find. Amma is like the purest of pure lakes, shimmering with everything that's right with this world. A baby's chuckle, a rainbow, the mornings' first dew drop. It's this lake we need to dive into to realize what our actual reason for being on earth is.

Why do we feel so overwhelmed in Amma's presence? Because nothing, absolutely nothing can come close to the feeling of being flooded by so much love. So much so that it shakes you and we begin to question: what have I been surviving on till now? How have I been living my life? Once Amma enters our life, the period of living should be known as our Amma Life. During our Amma Life, we enter a new realm. A protected realm where Amma ensures that our march down the spiritual path is slow, steady and unwavering. That every experience that comes our way has to be met with the same spiritual energy Amma expects us to have; in fact, the energy She has blessed us with. Anything less would be a   blot on Amma's effort to keep us spiritually fortified against the vagaries of life. When we can be unwavering in the face of adversity, we dwell in true FAITH. That 5 letter word we bandy around but never truly live. That 5 letter word that requires us to keep everything by Amma's feet and sit back because we are supremely confident that Amma will do what needs to be done.

Amma deserves our faith. Because She is the essence of the world's purity. Because only She can love us more than we love ourselves. Because She is a mother who cares and we're special to her!

Om Amriteswariye namah!

Amma's purity!

134. Om nir-lepayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is free from all impurities arising from action

Most of our actions are tainted. With greed. Jealousy. Hatred. And many such from the ilk. Even our seeming good deeds may only happen because we want the blessings of God. A very calculated move. Very rarely do our actions stay devoid of any ulterior motive. But Amma is above all this. Each of Her actions stays untainted by any impurity. What possible impurity can stain pure love? A love that is untouched by any vice, any negative emotion. Amma's love is so pure, it has us in tears. Because we have never experienced an emotion of this magnitude in any other situation. And a purity of this enormity shakes our beliefs. That innocence we lost in the path of life growing up, restores itself purely based on Amma's purity. Those feelings of doubt and fear can only reverse themselves when Amma's hands bless us. Those stabs of anger and hatred can only be buried safely when Amma's grace wipes them away. Amma's purity isn't something we can take for granted. It is rare and precious. No one else on the face of this earth will have the purity She has. No one can ever make a difference to lives as Amma does. And this is only because everything about Her is so pristine: Her smile, Her affection, Her love, Her compassion. She is our ever watchful Mother, constantly on the lookout for Her devotees and children. To us, Her children, She is our Mother and Shiva, our Father. And in the brilliance of the "Shiva Shakti" union, lies the concept of God. In equal parts, the male and female energy, creating a better universe. Praying to my Father today, I found peace. And I realized it is the same peace I feel in the arms of my Mother.

Amma, may Your purity pervade our very being. Life's path is tough and strewn with thorns. Please help us side step the thorns and walk safely on the path. It's the only path we have, Amma. Please give us the grace to traverse with care and with Your reassuring presence in our lives. For we are but creatures of vices. Fear grips my heart ever so often but I know that if my mind is occupied by fear, I am not giving You any space to sit. So then how can I expect You to enter my world? It's either You. Or Fear. And I herewith decide that it can ONLY BE YOU! Please grant me the courage to go forth safely with this knowledge.

Om Amriteswariye namah!   

My egoless Amma!

133. Om nir-anjanayai namah: I bow down to Amma who stays unattached, bound to nothing

Amma doesn't allow any circumstances to affect Her. Even when She was born, Amma did not utter a cry. She took everything in Her stride. Amma's entire life is this mantra. Throughout Her childhood, when She was taken out of school or even when She had to walk miles to get to work, She never complained. In fact, all She did was dedicate each step, each drop from the ocean of time, to God. Her desire to seek God was so strong, it's all that mattered. She never allowed ego or emotions to come in the way. It was Her single minded pursuit. For all those moments of Amma staying detached from the world to seek the Higher power, we should be eternally grateful. Because in Her sacrifices rests our ultimate happiness.

Amma's life is a song dedicated to each of Her children. Amma envelops us with Herself. And yet She stays unbound, unattached. It's probably because Amma lives as life should be lived: in the here and now. Attachments come when we allow ego to play a large role in our lives. We assume importance of the self and see ourselves as indispensable. But time is a great teacher. It can take away or give. It depends whether we're in the shadow or the sunlight. Amma has no ego. She always asks us to see Herself and God as servants, serving us. That is Her humility or the no ego state. Isn't it a near impossible state for us to be? We may spend an entire day in a temple offering prayers to God and yet will not hesitate to judge the beggar who sits outside the temple. Even when we do place money in his or her hands, we are filled with a sense of self worth and importance. Amma doesn't sit for hours on end because She wishes for us to praise Her. She does it because that is Her dharma. Her religion. To give of Herself in as many ways as She can. Amma gives us Her time which is more precious than anything else in the world. Once lost, we can never get it back. And Amma dedicates all of Her time, to us! But that's Amma. Selfless. Serving. An example to emulate. We are restricted by the boundaries of worldliness but we can still do whatever we can to reach out and change our attitude. To stay  unattached, we need to see ourselves for what we truly are: a small drop in the ocean of samsara - and that is enough to hold a mirror to our true worth in the larger scheme of things. Hope Amma removes all our egos. For when the ego is removed and squashed like an irritating fly, there will truly be peace. For us and the whole world.

Om Amriteswariye namah!

In gratitude, I cry!

132. Om nir-adharayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is without dependence

Amma is everyone's support. She is not dependent on anyone or anything.

When I think of Amma or feel Her overwhelming presence, I tear up. There are many reasons I cry in the presence of Amma.

That over riding feeling of love: How can one being hold so much love for all of humanity? We are used to boxes of love. A box of undying love that our parents gift us with. Love from siblings and members of our family. But we aren't used to an unconditional river of love. She asks for NOTHING in return. She will love us because that's Her dharma.

That secure feeling of protection: In a world where we aren't secure about the next moment, Amma throws us Her thick security blanket. It's Her ever lasting promise. That She will ALWAYS look out for us and after us. It doesn't matter what path we're on, She will always be there. Faith is knowing for certain that Amma is keeping a watch on us. Faith is never questioning Her presence. Faith is knowing that I sink into Her arms knowing full well She will catch me and never, ever let go.

That immense feeling of wonder. This one gets you in the gut. It's wonder at our luck. Wonder at creation. Wonder at nature. Really? I actually know God? She isn't just someone I read about or pray to but actually someone I can reach out and touch? Tell my problems to? Confess my fears to? And She listens? I'm one of 32 billion hugs She's given. And I'm special! To God! Makes my life worth living:)

That deep rooted sadness. She's leaving! When will I see Her again? Do I need to wait an entire year to have the opportunity to receive Her embrace? Will my eyes thirst for a glimpse of this Goddess? Sadness is realizing that Amma, who isn't a crutch but my life itself, will only come back a year later! That She will walk miles and hug millions while I wait impatiently awaiting Her arrival. Impatient moments where I have shed tears that could very well fill an ocean of time.

That indescribable feeling of happiness: She is my life! She is everything! I am living in Her lap and She is mine! Just a few more months...weeks....days...hours to go before I see Her. She's worked Her magic. Again. I am cared for. I am wanted. I am Loved. She is and will always be there for me.

How can I not cry, Amma? When the tears flow, it is but a mute being giving a road to her emotions. And each emotion only says one thing to You: I love you! And for this feeling of gratitude, a tear is nothing.

Om Amriteswariye namah!