Whenever I read stories of unwavering faith by devotees, I feel pangs of jealousy. How is it that they are able to feel and connect with Amma in a way that I can't seem to? How is it that when they ask, Amma gives so willingly and so quickly? I look for signs and symbols from Amma, all the time. In fact, I look for Amma everywhere. In a pattern on the cupboard door; in a fragrance; in a beautiful scenery. I wish She would actually give me a very symbolic sign that I could then carry like a spiritual signature, all the time. I hope wistfully that Amma would send a blessing floating through the wind that I could then quickly capture in my dream catcher. I wish, I hope, I pray, I dream....while all the while the divinity is very much within me. I read a beautiful saying by Sai Baba that Bindu had posted:
"There is only one important thing that you have to take note of - give up the delusion that the Divine is in some remote place. Have the faith: "I am God." When you have the faith that you are Divine, you will never go astray. You will pursue the right path. Believe that God is in every human being. Have the firm faith that Divinity is present in every human form. Perform right actions befitting the human form. Eschew selfishness, and the attachments and hatred arising from it. The way to get rid of selfishness is adoration of God.
- Sri Sathya Sai Baba"
The only way forward. The only way to realise that Amma is actually always watching out for me with Her signs and symbols. Cos She lives within me. Om Amriteswariye namah!
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