723. Om svatantrayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is free from all limitations.
A question and answer about marriage. A must read.
Question: Why is there no real love in married life? What causes the conflicts and the friction?
Amma: There is a serious lack of understanding between the husband and wife. In most cases the couple won’t even make an attempt to understand each other. For the development of a true relationship to take place, a basic understanding of human nature, the nature of men and women, is essential. Men are mostly intellectually centred, while women tend to be more emotional. They dwell in two different centers, along two parallel lines. No real meeting takes place within them. How, then, can there be any love between the two? Their different natures should be understood and accepted, and each one, both husband and wife, should make a conscious effort to reach out to the other’s feelings, to the heart, and then try to work out their problems with this understanding as their foundation. They shouldn’t try to control each other. They shouldn’t say to each other, “I say yes, and therefore you should also say yes.”
“It is very rare to find a truly loving relationship. The love between a married couple is usually only skin deep. If one of them says “yes,” the other will make it a point to say “no.” Children, learn to respect each other’s feelings. Learn to listen to each other’s problems with love and concern. When you listen to your partner, he or she should be able to feel that you are genuinely interested and that you would sincerely like to help. Your partner should feel your care and concern, your respect and admiration. An open acceptance of the other is needed, and there should be no reservations.”
Om Amriteswariye namah!
Question: Why is there no real love in married life? What causes the conflicts and the friction?
Amma: There is a serious lack of understanding between the husband and wife. In most cases the couple won’t even make an attempt to understand each other. For the development of a true relationship to take place, a basic understanding of human nature, the nature of men and women, is essential. Men are mostly intellectually centred, while women tend to be more emotional. They dwell in two different centers, along two parallel lines. No real meeting takes place within them. How, then, can there be any love between the two? Their different natures should be understood and accepted, and each one, both husband and wife, should make a conscious effort to reach out to the other’s feelings, to the heart, and then try to work out their problems with this understanding as their foundation. They shouldn’t try to control each other. They shouldn’t say to each other, “I say yes, and therefore you should also say yes.”
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Listen with love and concern“It is very rare to find a truly loving relationship. The love between a married couple is usually only skin deep. If one of them says “yes,” the other will make it a point to say “no.” Children, learn to respect each other’s feelings. Learn to listen to each other’s problems with love and concern. When you listen to your partner, he or she should be able to feel that you are genuinely interested and that you would sincerely like to help. Your partner should feel your care and concern, your respect and admiration. An open acceptance of the other is needed, and there should be no reservations.”
Om Amriteswariye namah!
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