Monday, August 26, 2013

My mother's heart!

36. Om stana bhara dalan madhya patta bandha vali trayayai namah: I bow down to Amma whose abdomen has three folds, which form a belt to support Her waist from breaking under the weight of Her  breasts.

My beautiful mother, whose every part is worthy of worship and praise. She's a beautiful mother to millions of Her children all over the world.

Many years ago, my sister Bindu referred to Amma as her spiritual mother. I found the concept so brilliant. Till then, She was Amma to me. But to take Amma out of the "peetham" and seat Her inside your heart, just where a mother needs to be, gave the entire guru-shishya relationship a totally renewed meaning. Amma was no longer a guru I stood in line to meet. She was no longer someone I took a token to get a hug from.

And this was so relevant because I had been brought up on the concept of God as being a fierce, punishing God. But suddenly, Amma, (who was & is most certainly God in my life!) was not - could not - be a fierce punishing God. She was a loving "mother". Which meant I wasn't standing in a line to meet Her - I was awaiting my turn amongst my brothers and sisters, to be with our Mother. It wasn't a token; it was my little magical portkey to get to Her.

So now my entire relationship with Amma is a mother-daughter relationship. It changes as the years go by. It's gone from fearful love to reticent adoration. I still find myself filtering my thoughts around Her. But I've been taught by some people who I call "bridges to Amma", not to do that. For Amma is a destination: when you arrive at Her feet, that's where the unburdening begins. Like when we were little and our mothers held us close to their hearts. It was never their heartbeat that soothed us - instead, it was our heartbeats that got in time with theirs, that helped us. It's the same with Amma. When She hugs me, I can't hear Her heart beat. But when I feel a calm descend on me, I know my heart's beating in tandem with Hers.

And then, I'm with my "mother"!

Om Amriteswariye namah! 

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