This is one of the best stories of faith I have read in ages. It is by Geeta Bhadran, Amma's ardent devotee. It is long but worth the full read:
Being a firm believer in the cause-and-effect relationship, questions arose within me as I watched the crowd around Amma: "Who is Amma? What is so special about Her? Why are people thronging around Her?" For my part, it was only curiosity that had taken me to Gayatri Gardens, Sikh Village, Secunderabad, the site of Amma’s visit.
Amma arrived at the scheduled time and, fortunately, I had a very clear view of Her from where I was seated. From the moment I saw Her, I felt a magnetic attraction drawing me to Her. I could not take my gaze off Her. This made me feel uneasy, for I considered myself a person of clear and studied convictions.
|
Amma then spoke for some time. This was followed by bhajans and meditation. During this time, I mentally listed some doubts that I wanted Amma to clarify during darshan. When I reached Amma, She hugged me. But for me, it was not just a hug. The exhilaration and vibrations that I experienced took me to a world of ecstasy. The questions for which I wanted answers had vanished into thin air. I also experienced a burning sensation at specific points on my right breast, as if pieces of red-hot charcoal had been placed there. Amma then took my face into Her hands and asked, "Are you not Amma’s muthu (meaning, "pearl," a name that Amma calls me whenever we meet)?" I did not respond but kept smiling. Amma asked me once again, "Are you not my darling daughter?" This time, I answered in the affirmative. Amma then said, "Amma reassures you that this smile will always remain on your face." She then asked me whether I was staying near the programme site. In hindsight, I feel that I should have grabbed that opportunity to invite Amma home. But I did not realise the significance of Her question then.
When I reached home, I recounted what had happened, to my father. When he heard what Amma had told me, he said, "Daughter, you are really blessed to have come under the protective wings of a mahatma like Amma." That remark, together with the darshan, created a sea change in my outlook.
Hardly a fortnight had passed when I received a call from my husband, who was working in Ernakulam, who informed me that he had met with an accident and had to undergo emergency surgery on his right knee. Even though I felt upset when I heard the news, I remember vividly the inner strength that I experienced then.
Soon after this episode, I started experiencing severe pains on those two points where I had felt the burning sensation during Amma’s darshan. I consulted various doctors who advised me to take some tests. Based on the results of those tests, the doctors recommended lumpectomy. But because of the charred lumps in my right breast, the doctors felt that I had to undergo mastectomy of my right breast. In the meantime, my husband who had not completely recovered from his injuries had come down to Hyderabad to be with me. I also received a lot of support from other family members, friends and well-wishers.
The day of the operation finally arrived. I was wheeled into the operating theatre. As I lay on the operating table, I could hear snatches of a conversation: "What happened? The patient is sinking… There is no pulse… I’ll inform her people about the state she is in." At that point, I saw Amma walking into the room with a smile on Her face. I could smell the fragrance of jasmine mingled with vibhuti (sacred ash), camphor and incense. Amma placed my head on Her lap and, gently caressing my head, asked me, "Do you still doubt Amma’s presence?"
I replied, "Amma, please forgive me. Please do not forsake me. Be with me every moment of my life.." I do not remember anything else that happened after this point. Nevertheless, the bond of affection that had bound me to Amma strengthened immeasurably.
The next day, when I was relaxing in the company of family and friends, I told them about my divine experience the day before in the operating room. Everyone present was moved to tears.
My trials were not over yet. Shortly before my discharge from the hospital, my husband’s knee injury started acting up. He was in intense pain, and left for Ernakulam where he had been receiving medical treatment. The doctors there advised a second surgery that very evening to remove a rod that they had implanted earlier. When I heard this, I could do nothing but surrender everything mentally at Amma’s feet.
I wanted to meet my husband as soon as possible. And so I left for Ernakulam even before the sutures on my wounds had been removed. As soon as I reached Ernakulam, I firmly told my husband that I wanted to visit Vallickavu the same day. He relented.
We reached Vallickavu at about 11:30 p.m. I had anticipated some private time with Amma. But what I saw made me feel despondent: there were so many vehicles parked outside the ashram premises. When we reached the hall, we were calmed by the serene, blissful sight of Amma in Devi Bhava. Since both of us were just out of surgery, we did not have to wait in line to see Amma. As I moved towards Amma, tears were streaming down from my eyes. As She stretched out Her hands to embrace me, Amma said, "Daughter, I knew that you would be coming and I was waiting for you." My husband informed Amma that I had been advised to undergo chemotherapy. Amma replied, "Daughter, do as the doctor advises. Amma is with you. Why do you worry?" When I heard Amma’s words, I felt reassured. My faith in Amma proved to be the beacon light amidst these trying situations.
Although there have been many trying situations in my life, my faith in Amma has kept me going. Now, when I take a look behind at my life, I realise that Amma’s grace alone has helped me tide over all the daunting circumstances in life. My pain and suffering were stepping-stones to Amma, the embodiment of love. Her love has, with the potency of an elixir, renewed and rejuvenated the strength within me to make my life more meaningful. The unquenchable thirst for this divine bliss has also made me a frequent visitor to Amritapuri. Today, all my family members are ardent devotees of the universal mother. Whatever we may have to undergo, the ultimate solace remains the holy feet of our Amma.
Om Amriteswariye namah!
No comments:
Post a Comment