173. Om samsaya-ghnyai namah: I bow down to Amma who kills all doubts
My most memorable train journey was at the age of 19 or so, when I accompanied my parents to see this "Guru lady". My father had spoken to me about Amma, a Guru who lived in Amritapuri. I was intrigued. During the journey, many thoughts plagued my mind. Who was She? Would She like me? Would I feel unburdened? Would She truly be all that my father had spoken about Her? Was She a Goddess...No, that wasn't possible! Living men and women weren't Gods! Gods were dead, divine beings hidden behind a sacred glass, encased in a poster. So who was Amma? Why was She called Amma? Did She have children?
And then I stood in that line consisting of about 100 people. Those days I thought it was a very, very long queue (I laugh now at this observation!). And then that life changing moment. I began to cry. Just like that. No warning, nothing. I just felt overwhelmed by it all. And once I met Amma, all doubts disappeared. Destroyed. Swept away as Amma's love engulfed me. And then the questions didn't matter. In fact, not one even came to mind! All I could think of was: I had reached home and She was my mother.
Many a time in this beautiful spiritual journey, I have worked with doubts. Sometimes I wonder if Amma can hear me. Is She even interested in listening to me? And then, I get a whiff of vibhuti. Or roses. Or even another sign. And I realise Amma always listens and She is with me because She never left in the first place. When we mar this beautiful relationship with Amma with doubts, it is unfortunate. Doubt is equivalent to questioning Amma. She is the most adorable person on earth. She is everything to us. She is life itself. And truly, in Her arms, there lies heaven. Undoubtedly.
Om Amriteswariye namah!
My most memorable train journey was at the age of 19 or so, when I accompanied my parents to see this "Guru lady". My father had spoken to me about Amma, a Guru who lived in Amritapuri. I was intrigued. During the journey, many thoughts plagued my mind. Who was She? Would She like me? Would I feel unburdened? Would She truly be all that my father had spoken about Her? Was She a Goddess...No, that wasn't possible! Living men and women weren't Gods! Gods were dead, divine beings hidden behind a sacred glass, encased in a poster. So who was Amma? Why was She called Amma? Did She have children?
And then I stood in that line consisting of about 100 people. Those days I thought it was a very, very long queue (I laugh now at this observation!). And then that life changing moment. I began to cry. Just like that. No warning, nothing. I just felt overwhelmed by it all. And once I met Amma, all doubts disappeared. Destroyed. Swept away as Amma's love engulfed me. And then the questions didn't matter. In fact, not one even came to mind! All I could think of was: I had reached home and She was my mother.
Many a time in this beautiful spiritual journey, I have worked with doubts. Sometimes I wonder if Amma can hear me. Is She even interested in listening to me? And then, I get a whiff of vibhuti. Or roses. Or even another sign. And I realise Amma always listens and She is with me because She never left in the first place. When we mar this beautiful relationship with Amma with doubts, it is unfortunate. Doubt is equivalent to questioning Amma. She is the most adorable person on earth. She is everything to us. She is life itself. And truly, in Her arms, there lies heaven. Undoubtedly.
Om Amriteswariye namah!
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