697. Om sarva-loka-vasankaryai namah: I bow down to Amma who keeps all the worlds under Her control.
It's extremely difficult to explain exactly how Amma's hugs and darshans have changed my life; or even to put into words just what it feels like before and post a hug. How overwhelming the feeling is; how choked up I feel with that rush of love and compassion. How suddenly everything feels right. How I feel a deep happiness, satisfaction, innocence. And so when I read this article, I just had to share because the writer has captured it quite well!:
"It was not what I expected. I was warned that I might wait hours for my hug, as I experienced dashran, being in the physical presence of a guru. I prepared myself for long hours of silent meditation, and yet, when I arrived at Amma's ashram in the East Bay area, I found Amma sitting amidst a noisy, jubilant mass of followers. As newcomers, Tricia and I were invited to sit up close and personal with Amma, where we could radiate in her beautiful loving energy, although we could only see er face in glimpses from the side. Over the hours we waited, we came and went, eating lovely Indian food, watching the faces of others as they walked away from their embraces. One woman knelt in front of us and wept after her hug, and I rubbed her back silently. She thanked me later. Being so close, we could witness Amma's humanity, as she pinched her disciples when she was annoyed. I couldn't help smiling. She never rested, never peed, never ate. Instead, she spent hour after hour giving long hugs to each person who approached her.
The hours passed, and right when Tricia and I absolutely had to leave to meet other commitments, it just happened to be miraculously our turn. Within minutes, we were sitting in a line of chairs, waiting for our hugs. I must admit I felt a little silly at this point. Pink editor-in-chief Joy had come earlier and received her hug sooner, but Tricia and I had been waiting for about four hours, and I was starting wonder why I had come. Sure, Tricia and I spent beautiful bonding time together, and that alone made it worth the pilgrimage, but what about Amma? Why was I here?
The closer I got to her, the more detail I could see in her face. As the line moved forward, I could see that she spent almost a minute in each embrace. I could see her shoulders quiver and her face twist with the pain she felt in each individual. I could see the heaving shoulders of those who knelt at her feet and fell into her embrace. I could see them weeping when they stood up. I watched the sweat trickle down her soft, lined, human face.
As Tricia and I approached, Amma's disciples took our bags, pushed us on our knees and lined us up for our hugs. I kept thinking, "Why am I here? WHY AM I HERE?" but I tried to stay open in that holy state of unknowing. The closer I got to Amma, the more I felt brick walls in my heart crumbling. It's as if her physical presence cracked me wide open, exposing my raw, bleeding heart, so it was right there- quivering and vulnerable, when suddenly, I was on my knees, and someone was pushing me forward. Then I was home, with Amma holding my head to her soft bosom, as she embraced me. Like the calm after the storm, all my confused, doubting thoughts evaporated in her arms, as she whispered something into my ear in a language I didn't understand, in a voice that sounded like music. Within seconds, I found myself sobbing, choked gulps of tears and powerful emotion, and she was rocking me like a Mama rocks her child. And we were rocking, just like that, like no one has rocked me since I was a very little girl. I felt this rush of hot, flowing love like I have not felt- ever- in the physical presence of another person. I mean, my own mother loves me, and yet, it's always comes with this whole story of history and expectation and blood ties. But this woman had no clue who I was, and yet she was pouring her love into me like I was the open, un-knowing vessel and she was the blood of Christ. For all I know, she was off pinching her followers on the side because I was sucking her dry, but I didn't care. It felt like she brought her whole human presence to that moment, as if I was the only person in that festive ashram, as if the love I experienced was just for me, the only person she had ever loved that way- ever.
And then it was over. Amma released me, a follower handed me a pink flower petal (PINK!) and a Hershey kiss, and then I was physically moved aside so Tricia could come in for her hug. As I staggered away, dizzy and crying, I watched Tricia, as Amma pulled her into her arms. And I watched Tricia's shoulders heave with the tears I knew she cried, and Amma rocked her and rocked her, long and hard, just as she had me. When Tricia's hug was over, Amma looked into Tricia's eyes and then pulled her back into her arms, as if Tricia needed a bonus hug, a little more love poured into her wide-open, beautiful PINK heart. Me, my one hug was more than I could even handle.
Why did I cry so hard in the arms of a stranger? I don't know. Someone experienced in hugging Amma called it an "Amma blast." To me, it felt overwhelming, the whole human experience the way I've lived it lately, as is my life is so divinely guided that I am merely a vessel for something much bigger and more powerful than me. I exploded with this huge sense of gratitude for the life I am blessed to life. Have you ever felt that way? It is both exquisitely beautiful and a little freaky. It makes you realize you are not in control, that Someone bigger is in charge. Thank GOD"
Om Amriteswariye namah!
It's extremely difficult to explain exactly how Amma's hugs and darshans have changed my life; or even to put into words just what it feels like before and post a hug. How overwhelming the feeling is; how choked up I feel with that rush of love and compassion. How suddenly everything feels right. How I feel a deep happiness, satisfaction, innocence. And so when I read this article, I just had to share because the writer has captured it quite well!:
"It was not what I expected. I was warned that I might wait hours for my hug, as I experienced dashran, being in the physical presence of a guru. I prepared myself for long hours of silent meditation, and yet, when I arrived at Amma's ashram in the East Bay area, I found Amma sitting amidst a noisy, jubilant mass of followers. As newcomers, Tricia and I were invited to sit up close and personal with Amma, where we could radiate in her beautiful loving energy, although we could only see er face in glimpses from the side. Over the hours we waited, we came and went, eating lovely Indian food, watching the faces of others as they walked away from their embraces. One woman knelt in front of us and wept after her hug, and I rubbed her back silently. She thanked me later. Being so close, we could witness Amma's humanity, as she pinched her disciples when she was annoyed. I couldn't help smiling. She never rested, never peed, never ate. Instead, she spent hour after hour giving long hugs to each person who approached her.
The hours passed, and right when Tricia and I absolutely had to leave to meet other commitments, it just happened to be miraculously our turn. Within minutes, we were sitting in a line of chairs, waiting for our hugs. I must admit I felt a little silly at this point. Pink editor-in-chief Joy had come earlier and received her hug sooner, but Tricia and I had been waiting for about four hours, and I was starting wonder why I had come. Sure, Tricia and I spent beautiful bonding time together, and that alone made it worth the pilgrimage, but what about Amma? Why was I here?
The closer I got to her, the more detail I could see in her face. As the line moved forward, I could see that she spent almost a minute in each embrace. I could see her shoulders quiver and her face twist with the pain she felt in each individual. I could see the heaving shoulders of those who knelt at her feet and fell into her embrace. I could see them weeping when they stood up. I watched the sweat trickle down her soft, lined, human face.
As Tricia and I approached, Amma's disciples took our bags, pushed us on our knees and lined us up for our hugs. I kept thinking, "Why am I here? WHY AM I HERE?" but I tried to stay open in that holy state of unknowing. The closer I got to Amma, the more I felt brick walls in my heart crumbling. It's as if her physical presence cracked me wide open, exposing my raw, bleeding heart, so it was right there- quivering and vulnerable, when suddenly, I was on my knees, and someone was pushing me forward. Then I was home, with Amma holding my head to her soft bosom, as she embraced me. Like the calm after the storm, all my confused, doubting thoughts evaporated in her arms, as she whispered something into my ear in a language I didn't understand, in a voice that sounded like music. Within seconds, I found myself sobbing, choked gulps of tears and powerful emotion, and she was rocking me like a Mama rocks her child. And we were rocking, just like that, like no one has rocked me since I was a very little girl. I felt this rush of hot, flowing love like I have not felt- ever- in the physical presence of another person. I mean, my own mother loves me, and yet, it's always comes with this whole story of history and expectation and blood ties. But this woman had no clue who I was, and yet she was pouring her love into me like I was the open, un-knowing vessel and she was the blood of Christ. For all I know, she was off pinching her followers on the side because I was sucking her dry, but I didn't care. It felt like she brought her whole human presence to that moment, as if I was the only person in that festive ashram, as if the love I experienced was just for me, the only person she had ever loved that way- ever.
And then it was over. Amma released me, a follower handed me a pink flower petal (PINK!) and a Hershey kiss, and then I was physically moved aside so Tricia could come in for her hug. As I staggered away, dizzy and crying, I watched Tricia, as Amma pulled her into her arms. And I watched Tricia's shoulders heave with the tears I knew she cried, and Amma rocked her and rocked her, long and hard, just as she had me. When Tricia's hug was over, Amma looked into Tricia's eyes and then pulled her back into her arms, as if Tricia needed a bonus hug, a little more love poured into her wide-open, beautiful PINK heart. Me, my one hug was more than I could even handle.
Why did I cry so hard in the arms of a stranger? I don't know. Someone experienced in hugging Amma called it an "Amma blast." To me, it felt overwhelming, the whole human experience the way I've lived it lately, as is my life is so divinely guided that I am merely a vessel for something much bigger and more powerful than me. I exploded with this huge sense of gratitude for the life I am blessed to life. Have you ever felt that way? It is both exquisitely beautiful and a little freaky. It makes you realize you are not in control, that Someone bigger is in charge. Thank GOD"
Om Amriteswariye namah!
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