My sweet, sweet Amma!

 915. Om svabhāva-madhurāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is sweet in Her inherent nature

This is one of my favourite names of Amma's! When I first stood in line for Her darshan nearly 30 years ago, I cried with no idea why I was crying. I felt overwhelmed. But by what? I had no clue. I just stood there crying softly to myself, confused and overwhelmed. When I finally got Amma's darshan, it felt like all the armoury of the world had been lovingly wrapped around me, to protect me forever! I was home. I had met my Mother. I still remember the sweet, all-loving embrace She enveloped me in. I left the ashram crying. On the train journey back to Kannur, my parents and I discussed Amma and how wonderful the darshan had been. In that 8 hour journey back, I thought so much about Amma. I felt Her continued protection. And then, life took over. I travelled for my post-graduation. I found new freedom in the outside world. I made silly mistakes, wrong decisions. But once a year I would collapse in the arms of my sweet Mother who would forgive me all my mistakes and give me renewed energy. It has been the same for years. I wait for that hug that wipes away the tears of an entire year. My sweet, sweet Amma accepts me with all my faults, mistakes and false ego. Through the years She has smoothed down my rough edges. She has taught me lessons in humility. They've been harsh lessons but perhaps much needed. She has taught me to appreciate the smaller joys in life. She continues to teach me in Her own gentle way - and for that, I am ever grateful to my sweet, darling Amma!

Om Amriteshwariye namah!