Happy Birthday to my most beloved AMMA!

 916. Om dhīrayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is wise; who gives wisdom

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMMA! I BOW DOWN IN ABSOLUTE GRATITUDE AT YOUR LOTUS FEET.

Thank You Amma for letting me be your disciple and for being my Guru. Thank You for all the wonderful twists and turns You have walked me through in my life. Thank You for giving me this wonderful biological and spiritual family. Thank You for making me who I am today. Thank You for showering me with Your grace despite the fact that I have doubted You, been angry at You and many a time lost faith in You. You stood patiently by, as the loving Mother that You are, waiting for me to understand my purpose in life. I'm still searching for it but under Your guidance, I'm closer to finding it. Under Your ever powerful and wise guidance, I have learnt so much about life, expectations and how the true meaning of life can only be found within the folds of our devotion to You! In today's satsang, You said You remember all Your children and we have all been in Your thoughts. You were that gentle breeze that's cooled me down on a hot day. You were the reassuring voice in my head when I was crackling with anxiety. You were the customer who helped spread the word about my business and prevented me from shutting down. You were the one who lent me a listening ear when I was ready to burst into tears. You sent Your angels to help me through good times and bad. I know You are always there, Amma. But sometimes, I forget. Please help me remember this at all times, Amma. And a very, very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the Queen of my universe! 

My sweet, sweet Amma!

 915. Om svabhāva-madhurāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is sweet in Her inherent nature

This is one of my favourite names of Amma's! When I first stood in line for Her darshan nearly 30 years ago, I cried with no idea why I was crying. I felt overwhelmed. But by what? I had no clue. I just stood there crying softly to myself, confused and overwhelmed. When I finally got Amma's darshan, it felt like all the armoury of the world had been lovingly wrapped around me, to protect me forever! I was home. I had met my Mother. I still remember the sweet, all-loving embrace She enveloped me in. I left the ashram crying. On the train journey back to Kannur, my parents and I discussed Amma and how wonderful the darshan had been. In that 8 hour journey back, I thought so much about Amma. I felt Her continued protection. And then, life took over. I travelled for my post-graduation. I found new freedom in the outside world. I made silly mistakes, wrong decisions. But once a year I would collapse in the arms of my sweet Mother who would forgive me all my mistakes and give me renewed energy. It has been the same for years. I wait for that hug that wipes away the tears of an entire year. My sweet, sweet Amma accepts me with all my faults, mistakes and false ego. Through the years She has smoothed down my rough edges. She has taught me lessons in humility. They've been harsh lessons but perhaps much needed. She has taught me to appreciate the smaller joys in life. She continues to teach me in Her own gentle way - and for that, I am ever grateful to my sweet, darling Amma!

Om Amriteshwariye namah! 

The path of hope and faith

 914. Om svasthāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who abides in Herself; who is free from all afflictions.

The more I see the power of group chanting, the more I realise what I have missed out on in the past. I preferred to sit by myself and chant, while my monkey mind ran all over the place, from my work to my friends to Amma and to problems I was facing. Suddenly a new world has opened itself up, where wrapped in each chant is the love and support that everyone affords each other, in a group. Suddenly I have understood the importance of praying for others. I was explaining this to a friend and in all innocence, he asked me who prayed for me? Why, everyone else, I said! And that felt so good. Because when we are Amma's children, we are under the umbrella of the grace of our ever-loving Guru- She who abides in Herself and yet loves millions of Her children unconditionally. She is free from all negativity even when willingly taking the burden of our own negativity and ego. She infuses us with love and acceptance, optimism and hope, faith and life. She teaches us to be inclusive in every situation. She teaches us to remember the divine name with every breath. She saves us from the illusion and the deceit of the material world. I pray that we may all walk in the path that Amma has created for us because if there is one person in the world who knows how to make us better beings, who knows how to make us walk the path of hope and faith, it is the Divine Devi Herself! 

Om Amriteshwariye namah! 

Oh to live a life of Joy!

 913. Om sarvāpad-vinivārinyai namah: I bow down to Amma who removes all dangers

Our Satguru is the all-powerful Mother of the universe. When we stay in a state of constant remembrance of Her (and even when not!), Amma is always looking after us. She is clothing us in Her grace and shielding us from danger and our own negative tendencies. Most times I feel that the biggest danger we face is ourselves. Our Selves. We may well chant prayers but as soon as the prayers are done, we forget to continue the inward journey. Instead, we get caught up in the frenetic outside world, in little trivial fights and get entangled in the impossible mesh of our ego. We forget what we have prayed for; we forget Amma's teachings; we forget that Amma's religion is unconditional love. So many times I have stood in front of Amma and vowed to give up negativity. Within hours, I have allowed it back into my life with open arms. We are all so flawed and it is only prayers and an understanding of exactly who and what we are praying for that will help us move ahead in a dharmic manner. I pray to Amma that She removes the biggest danger to my life: my own negativity. Instead, I pray She graces me with the joy of life, the bliss of losing myself in chanting Her name every minute of the day! 

Om Amriteshwariye namah! 

Unflinching faith...

 912. Om savyāpasavya-mārgasthāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who occupies (or is reached by) both the left and the right paths of worship.

The different ways of reaching Amma bring us to the doorstep of unflinching faith. It is possibly the most difficult concept to inculcate within us. What we often are unable to fathom is the full extent of Amma's divinity. To reach Amma's divine feet, we have to first remove the layers of ego we clothe ourselves in. To even remotely begin to understand Amma, we need to go inwards as much as possible. Amma tells us to "Love" everyone the way we love Her. She makes the concept sound so simple but how impossible is that?! I find it extremely difficult to see Amma in anyone else. That's my fault, my ego playing out. I need to remove the illusion that I am in control of any situation or that I am the creator of my destiny. I need to understand that we are all of humanity, in this world, together. As Amma's example of the burning building, we have to feel the fire burning on the 1st floor even as we lounge in our home, ten floors above! The interconnectedness between all of us cannot be ignored. We are all human beings living a spiritual experience while Amma removes all our negative tendencies and erases the karma from our past births. So I bow down to Amma and pray that whichever path I take to reach Her, may it be with unflinching faith and the realization that I take my next breath only because of Her infinite grace!

Om Amriteshwariye namah! 

United by love

911. Om sadāśiva-kutumbinyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is the wife of Sadashiva

In the book "The Thousand Names of the Divine Mother" by T.V Narayana Menon, he writes that 'this mantra may also be taken to mean "always" (sadā) blissful (Śiva) and with family (kutumbini)".'

I love that interpretation because when we remember Amma constantly in our lives, we experience constant bliss. We are never alone. Our spiritual family has our back at all times. When this pandemic started, my panic and anxiety were reaching mammoth proportions. It had become an every day - sometimes three to four times a day - occurrence. That's when Bindu told me to join a WhatsApp group that concentrated on chanting. She didn't give me a choice. She added me to the group and I shied away from praying with total strangers. Today, that group is my spiritual family. Comprising of 66 people, of whom I have met only 5, I feel such a strong sense of spiritual kinship with everyone. It is a no-judgement zone where the common thread is our love for Amma. This love then radiates towards our brothers and sisters. It's the safest place to be. And Amma has created such a world for all of us. We only need to reach out and touch the lives of those around us, spreading the love that Amma always advocates. 

Our ever Loving Mother!

910. Om somyāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is benign and gentle in nature; of a cool, gentle nature as the moon.

How else does one perceive the Divine presence? Amma's gentleness has touched the lives of millions of people around the world. It has made us question our own nature and given us a perspective of aggravated emotions. Of course, only a Realized Master can have the spiritual awakening to be benign, gentle and unmoved under any circumstance. Amma has hugged millions of Her devotees while listening to each of our heart-rending requests and tales of woe. We hug Her with a heavy heart, burdened with the demands of karma and life. And Amma takes away our pain and hugs us like the ever-loving Mother. Please always be there for all of us, Amma. Please help us in this journey called Life. Please hold our hands as we traverse the turbulent waters to reach the shore of enlightenment. Please engulf us in Your ever gentle embrace.

Om Amriteshwariye namah!  

The powerful chanting

909. Om sama-gana-priyayai namah: I bow down to Amma who is fond of the chanting of the Samaveda

I bow down to Amma who taught me, in my early 20s, to start chanting. Up until then, I used to pray quite mindlessly, without much thoughts to words or intention. Amma's astottara is the first long prayer I ever learnt. I remember vividly the little book of prayers I had. It was in Hindi, so I could read the words as close to its Sanskrit pronunciation as possible. I would fumble through the words till suddenly, many years of chanting hence, they too became a mindless stream of words. Every once in a while I would think of Amma while praying - expectedly, at the beginning, somewhere in the middle and towards the end. Then one day I heard, at one of Amma's darshans, the longest prayer ever. The Lalitha Sahasranamam. 1000 names of the Devi! I remember thinking how crazy that was! A thousand names! When I was undergoing a tough pregnancy, I remember my parents who were visiting me during my third trimester, would sit on either side of me, touch me gently and recite these magical 1000 names. My parents said it was one of the most powerful prayers ever. So my little baby heard it while in the womb and I suddenly grew attached to it. It's what Bindu and Menon aunty chanted, sitting on the ground outside the operation theatre, while I was undergoing a C-section at 30 weeks! It's taken me over 18 years to even try and work on my pronunciations. But it's my favourite, longest prayer ever! It's what I chant when I am stressed. It's what energises me. It's what makes me feel safe. I feel like suddenly Amma wraps me in Her arms and all is right with the world!

Om Amriteshwariye namah! 

Amma: the meaning of our lives!

908. Om tat-tvam-artha-svarūpinyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is the meaning of tat (that) and tvam (you)

As for me, Amma defines everything, She gives meaning to our very lives. Everything that happens around me and within me is but a play by Amma. I just imagine Her laughing heartily, wondering why I take myself so seriously when our innate nature is Joy and Amma Herself resides in us. I for one certainly need to remember that Amma is the architect of my life. When even the next breath isn't a certainty, what ego drives me to think that I can steer the vehicle of my life? Experience has taught me that the sands of time shift our fate within seconds; that absolutely everything is but an ephemeral scent in the winds that gently toss us through life. Each of us is searching for our light tower, for that beam of light that will bring us safely ashore. Amma is the only safety. Amma should be the end all and be all of our lives. I hope to be able to chant Her name every second of the day so I may never forget to live in gratitude of the fact that I have found shelter at Her feet. She is my meaning, She is my purpose.

Om Amriteshwariye namah!

The reality I know

907. Om tattva-mayyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is reality Itself or Shiva Himself.

Amma is the only reality we know. She cuts through all the maya that surrounds us and shows us our true selves: Sat cit ananda. If we follow Amma's teachings, we may well learn that all the obstacles and hardships that come our way are the debt we are repaying for the sins of our previous births. Amma is helping us get rid of it all so that we can experience bliss in this life. Amma is the only reality I wish to live by in my life. I know when life throws me curveballs I get upset and ask Amma how She can do this to me! Why would a Mother let Her child suffer? Does my Mother not love me enough? Does She not see what pain She is putting me through? Would I allow my child to undergo any suffering if I can help it? That's when, much against my momentary mood, I force myself to pray. I tell Amma that She is the all-knowing divine Mother. I have to force my faith out from hiding and talk it back into myself. I have to teach myself - yet again - to trust that Amma will only do what is best for me! Because She is my reality and She will take me ahead with as much care, through the wheel of life.

Om Amriteshwariye namah!   

Surrender!

906. Om tattvādhikāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who transcends all cosmic categories

For us, Amma is the omniscient, omnipresent Mother of the universe who transcends all the tattvas. As each name breaks down the Devi's various qualities, we realise, as best as we can, that Amma is the all-pervading presence in our lives. All we need to know and practise is 'surrender'. But the mind, joining together with the ego, plays tricks on us and tells us we can surpass any situation; that our next breath is ours; that we are the ultimate doers. I have had many a knock on my head from the universe to tell me what happens to the best laid plans of mice and men! But surrender is just such a difficult concept to grasp, because from our very birth we have been taught independence. Surrender is laying down of ourselves at Amma's feet and realising that we can only see till the end of the road whereas Amma can see the entire route. And more. Surrender is knowing that we are in the presence of Divinity Herself. Surrender is understanding that even our next breath is a gift from Amma. May we learn to surrender completely to Amma who in Her divinity and grace, will engulf us in Her unending love.

Om Amriteshwariye Namah! 

Radiating peace!

905. Om baindavāsanāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is seated in the Baindava (Ajna) chakra

Baindava: the spot between the eyebrows

This reminds me of how Amma has been leading us in the peace meditation. One of Amma's instructions has been to imagine a pearl in between our eyebrows, inside a triangle, shining and radiating light all around. Amma's white flower meditation is meant to bring peace to the entire world in these difficult times. Everyone is going through periods of turbulence. May Amma guide us through these many obstacles and see us through to the other side of this spiritual path, safely. Amma, please bless all those who are reaching out to You. We know no other shelter; we know no other comfort. You are the only shade in which we can rest our weary heads. We, your children ache for Your unending grace and infinite, divine love.

Om Amriteshwariye namah!  

Madguruh Sri Jagadguruh!

904. Om vidagdhāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is expert in everything.

My Mother is the strongest, most beautiful, most protective, most loving and the most compassionate mother on earth. Amma. She is an expert at making each of us feel loved even from miles away. When we cry to Her with all our heart, Amma reaches out with Her infinite grace and divinity and envelops us in Her loving embrace. She is the expert is loving unconditionally. What does a Guru want from us? Amma only asks us to give Her all our negative tendencies. She wants for each of us to become aware of the divinity within us. Imagine loving thousands and thousands of people unconditionally and giving so much of Herself to each of us! All we need to do is realise the truth about who Amma is (not that we can ever understand the full extent of who Amma truly is!) and be grateful that we are the children of the Master of the Universe! Madguruh śri jagadguruh!!

Om Amriteshwariye namah! 

Our Safe Amma World

903. Om kalyāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is capable of creation

The 699th Shloka is Amma as Savitri: the creative power in the universe! For us, Her ardent devotees, this is a known fact that everything begins with Amma and resides with Amma. I bask in the warmth of the knowledge that She created me. Through my sadhana, I just hope to find that higher purpose She created me for. We have all been created for a higher purpose and I think the beauty of getting older, with Amma as our Guru, is that it helps us connect more and more with our inner selves. We make friends long distance without even seeing them, through the sheer connectivity of prayers! Remya Warrier is one such friend who I have never met and yet it seems like Amma brought us together many lifetimes ago. I haven't seen Bindu in 6 years and yet every time I hear her chanting, Amma creates that safe, spiritual bubble within which we revel in each other's happiness! Amma has created for us the perfect world of supportive, non-judgemental brothers and sisters who have our back, every day. Why wouldn't we? After all, we do share a common Mother who loves us all to bits !!!

Om Amriteshwariye namah! 

Finding our Inner Selves

902. Om vijnāna-kalanāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who realizes the knowledge of Brahman

At Amma's lotus feet is the seat of all knowledge. We will find every truth to the universe right there, at Amma's feet. Swami Vivekananda once said: "The goal of mankind is knowledge ... Now this knowledge is inherent in man. No knowledge comes from outside: it is all inside. What we say a man 'knows', should, in strict psychological language, be what he 'discovers' or 'unveils'; what man 'learns' is really what he discovers by taking the cover off his own soul, which is a mine of infinite knowledge."
The only person who can help us ignorant souls unveil this knowledge that very much lies within us, is our beloved Guru. She dusts away the cobwebs of ignorance, selfishness, greed, lust, anger, jealousy and other such vices, to show us our true self and our infinite capabilities. Imagine breaking free of the vices that bind us down to petty thoughts! Imagine a life where we are constantly in the know of the knowledge within us and we can see the world as Amma would like us to see it: seamless, filled with love! That will truly be a life of sac-cid-ananda! I pray with trepidation to Amma to take away these cobwebs. Trepidation, because I know that when She strips them away, I will feel pain. But after that, it will help me realise the fount of knowledge that lies within me. And then I can truly dwell in the nature of my true loving self, as God has created all of us.
Om Amriteswaryai namah! 

Her beautiful voice!

901. Om nāda-rūpinyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is in the form of the primal sound.

The primal sound of Om. The beginning of the universe. For me, Amma is the beginning of everything. My daughter has known Amma ever since she was in my womb. She has heard me say my prayers to Amma and I would like to think that Amma is the first word she has heard and known. When our lives are touched by Amma, we become like little babies wanting the sweet and reassuring embrace of our Mother. I have stood in the darshan line crying copious tears, with little idea why I was crying. Until I realized that standing in front of God Herself was an overwhelming feeling. Sometimes when I feel alone and depressed, I find solace in hearing Amma's voice in my ear. "Mollutee, mollutee, molluuuuutee!" Whatever Amma says is dipped in the great nectar of universal love. In today's pandemic ridden world, we wait for Amma's virtual online satsang just to hear that sweet melodious voice that reassure us that everything is alright with the world. There is a quality to Amma's voice I have never heard anywhere or in anyone. I don't wish to dissect it. I just want to bask in its beauty, its melody, its unending stream of love!
Om Amriteshwaryai namah!

A heart filled with compassion

900. Om naiskarmyāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who abstains from actions

Naiskarmyā: actionless.

I found the perfect understanding of this name through an answer Amma gave a devotee: Mahatmas live in love and compassion. Forgetting their individual existence and sacrificing all bodily comforts, they not only love and constantly remember others, but they also selflessly serve the world. As they are dead to the ego, they cannot think of their own happiness or comfort." Amma serves us selflessly and this is non-action because She is not looking for a reward or a result of the action. Her love for us is 'Naiskarmyā' and boundless. She gives and gives and gives of Herself every second of every day. Look at the picture above. Amma's ever pure and intense compassion can only come from a place of true love. Who in this wide world can give of Herself so selflessly? Thousands and thousands of Her devotees pray to Amma with a wide range of requests - health, wealth, relationships, dreams - and Amma keeps us all in Her heart, caressing us gently with Her grace. I have asked and She has answered. But only when my question has come from a pure heart, untainted by selfishness. She can ruthlessly strip us of our ego. I'm yet a work in progress - possibly many moons to go before I can control my ego and totally surrender it at Amma's feet. But thankfully I have seen people like Lalitha chechi and Bindu whose ego have been stripped bare, revealing a pure and generous heart within. Let us aim to become as pure, loving and selfless as possible!
Om Amriteshwaryai namah! 

My Hero, My Mother.

899. Om vīrāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is heroic.

"Make a firm decision: 'Whatever happens I will be happy. I will be strong. God is always with me'"

Amma

I enjoy reading this name of Amma's. She has been my Hero ever since I first met Her. She has rescued me from the depths of the dark abyss innumerable times. She has allowed me to walk away and walk back to Her. In a world where we are conditioned to question everything, including faith, She waits quietly, lovingly, for us to understand that we are in the presence of a true master. I recently read something written by Nietzsche: 'He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.' Amma is our why and our how. Immersing ourselves in prayers sometimes gives us a glimpse into Her power. I've felt it sometimes in a scent that suddenly pervades me. Or a beautiful sky I spy whilst praying. Perhaps a flickering lamp flame that suddenly looks heart-shaped! I'd like to believe these are little signs Amma leaves for me because She knows of my fickle mind. The minute I hit a wall, I question Her. But my loving Mother waits, like a true Hero, to protect me - from my own weakness. Thank you Amma for always being there for us. May we always live in gratitude for Her heroic presence in our lives!
Om Amriteshwaryai namah! 

Her Unconditional love!

898. Om vīra-gosthī-priyāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is fond of the assembly of warriors.

The weapon of choice Amma has used to conquer the world, is pure love. When we inculcate this love and truly begin to see divinity in everyone around us, we become Her warriors, spreading this love amongst everyone. What a beautiful world we can then look forward to, where the only currency of exchange is unconditional love! Every time I have had Amma's darshan, I have cried. The tears do not represent sorrow. Instead, it is an outpouring of the feeling of being overwhelmed in the presence of a Mother and a Guru who takes you into Her arms and hugs you with a warm embrace. And you are left with a deep longing for more; a desire to hold on to that hug and the warmth which now pervades your mind and body! How grateful we should be every minute of the day that in this uncertain world full of maya, we have a Mother who cares so much for us, who takes care of our everyday needs and who always, unfailingly fulfils our desires when we ask with an innocent heart! 

Om Amriteshwaryai namah! 

Across Oceans and Seas

897. Om kula-rūpinyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is the deity of the Kaula path

From darkness to light, from ignorance to knowledge, from hatred to love, from ego to consciousness...Amma continues to cleanse us from within. I disliked group spiritual practices. I always felt they were tedious and went against the whole concept of spirituality. But when Bindu, who now lives in the US, saw my various messages to her filled with angst and pain, she insisted I join group chanting. I approached it with trepidation. The first time I chanted the Mritunjaya mantra 9 times, I had a panic attack midway. Post the prayer, I felt faint. I thought to myself: Never again! I was back the next day on the call, trembling, as I said the prayers. Amma held on tight - as She always does and She made me chant every few days. Now I look forward to the group chanting. I am extremely indebted to this group. We are a family, Amma's children, united by the bond of love that Amma has graced us with. Across oceans and seas, we hold each other's hearts as we pray for the world. Unseen faces, united hearts, brought together by devotion to the all-pervading Mother of this universe! May our love and devotion grow boundlessly.
Om Amriteshwaryai namah!  

The journey continues...

896. Om Kūtasthāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who remains unchanged like the anvil

How apt that 4 years and 5 months hence, I restart my journey with the name of the Devi that exemplifies the true nature of Amma. Unchanging. I veered away from Her in a huff, upset at the verisimilitude of life. I walked away from what I thought was a life of darkness into the forest of lost faith. I went Guru hunting. I wished for someone who would magically make my troubles disappear, wave a magic wand and wake me up into a perfect life. But every bit of wisdom I heard was familiar - because Amma had already uttered them. Every advice I heard were words I had heard before. I had walked away from a mountain, looking for cool air in molehills. And She waited patiently and when I walked back to Amma, She welcomed me with open arms. You are my rock, my anvil, my anchor, Amma. You are the only reality I need to know. When we as your children finally learn of our true nature, we will find our way back home - where You await our arrival with open arms.