Finding our Inner Selves

902. Om vijnāna-kalanāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who realizes the knowledge of Brahman

At Amma's lotus feet is the seat of all knowledge. We will find every truth to the universe right there, at Amma's feet. Swami Vivekananda once said: "The goal of mankind is knowledge ... Now this knowledge is inherent in man. No knowledge comes from outside: it is all inside. What we say a man 'knows', should, in strict psychological language, be what he 'discovers' or 'unveils'; what man 'learns' is really what he discovers by taking the cover off his own soul, which is a mine of infinite knowledge."
The only person who can help us ignorant souls unveil this knowledge that very much lies within us, is our beloved Guru. She dusts away the cobwebs of ignorance, selfishness, greed, lust, anger, jealousy and other such vices, to show us our true self and our infinite capabilities. Imagine breaking free of the vices that bind us down to petty thoughts! Imagine a life where we are constantly in the know of the knowledge within us and we can see the world as Amma would like us to see it: seamless, filled with love! That will truly be a life of sac-cid-ananda! I pray with trepidation to Amma to take away these cobwebs. Trepidation, because I know that when She strips them away, I will feel pain. But after that, it will help me realise the fount of knowledge that lies within me. And then I can truly dwell in the nature of my true loving self, as God has created all of us.
Om Amriteswaryai namah! 

Her beautiful voice!

901. Om nāda-rūpinyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is in the form of the primal sound.

The primal sound of Om. The beginning of the universe. For me, Amma is the beginning of everything. My daughter has known Amma ever since she was in my womb. She has heard me say my prayers to Amma and I would like to think that Amma is the first word she has heard and known. When our lives are touched by Amma, we become like little babies wanting the sweet and reassuring embrace of our Mother. I have stood in the darshan line crying copious tears, with little idea why I was crying. Until I realized that standing in front of God Herself was an overwhelming feeling. Sometimes when I feel alone and depressed, I find solace in hearing Amma's voice in my ear. "Mollutee, mollutee, molluuuuutee!" Whatever Amma says is dipped in the great nectar of universal love. In today's pandemic ridden world, we wait for Amma's virtual online satsang just to hear that sweet melodious voice that reassure us that everything is alright with the world. There is a quality to Amma's voice I have never heard anywhere or in anyone. I don't wish to dissect it. I just want to bask in its beauty, its melody, its unending stream of love!
Om Amriteshwaryai namah!

A heart filled with compassion

900. Om naiskarmyāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who abstains from actions

Naiskarmyā: actionless.

I found the perfect understanding of this name through an answer Amma gave a devotee: Mahatmas live in love and compassion. Forgetting their individual existence and sacrificing all bodily comforts, they not only love and constantly remember others, but they also selflessly serve the world. As they are dead to the ego, they cannot think of their own happiness or comfort." Amma serves us selflessly and this is non-action because She is not looking for a reward or a result of the action. Her love for us is 'Naiskarmyā' and boundless. She gives and gives and gives of Herself every second of every day. Look at the picture above. Amma's ever pure and intense compassion can only come from a place of true love. Who in this wide world can give of Herself so selflessly? Thousands and thousands of Her devotees pray to Amma with a wide range of requests - health, wealth, relationships, dreams - and Amma keeps us all in Her heart, caressing us gently with Her grace. I have asked and She has answered. But only when my question has come from a pure heart, untainted by selfishness. She can ruthlessly strip us of our ego. I'm yet a work in progress - possibly many moons to go before I can control my ego and totally surrender it at Amma's feet. But thankfully I have seen people like Lalitha chechi and Bindu whose ego have been stripped bare, revealing a pure and generous heart within. Let us aim to become as pure, loving and selfless as possible!
Om Amriteshwaryai namah! 

My Hero, My Mother.

899. Om vīrāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is heroic.

"Make a firm decision: 'Whatever happens I will be happy. I will be strong. God is always with me'"

Amma

I enjoy reading this name of Amma's. She has been my Hero ever since I first met Her. She has rescued me from the depths of the dark abyss innumerable times. She has allowed me to walk away and walk back to Her. In a world where we are conditioned to question everything, including faith, She waits quietly, lovingly, for us to understand that we are in the presence of a true master. I recently read something written by Nietzsche: 'He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.' Amma is our why and our how. Immersing ourselves in prayers sometimes gives us a glimpse into Her power. I've felt it sometimes in a scent that suddenly pervades me. Or a beautiful sky I spy whilst praying. Perhaps a flickering lamp flame that suddenly looks heart-shaped! I'd like to believe these are little signs Amma leaves for me because She knows of my fickle mind. The minute I hit a wall, I question Her. But my loving Mother waits, like a true Hero, to protect me - from my own weakness. Thank you Amma for always being there for us. May we always live in gratitude for Her heroic presence in our lives!
Om Amriteshwaryai namah! 

Her Unconditional love!

898. Om vīra-gosthī-priyāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is fond of the assembly of warriors.

The weapon of choice Amma has used to conquer the world, is pure love. When we inculcate this love and truly begin to see divinity in everyone around us, we become Her warriors, spreading this love amongst everyone. What a beautiful world we can then look forward to, where the only currency of exchange is unconditional love! Every time I have had Amma's darshan, I have cried. The tears do not represent sorrow. Instead, it is an outpouring of the feeling of being overwhelmed in the presence of a Mother and a Guru who takes you into Her arms and hugs you with a warm embrace. And you are left with a deep longing for more; a desire to hold on to that hug and the warmth which now pervades your mind and body! How grateful we should be every minute of the day that in this uncertain world full of maya, we have a Mother who cares so much for us, who takes care of our everyday needs and who always, unfailingly fulfils our desires when we ask with an innocent heart! 

Om Amriteshwaryai namah! 

Across Oceans and Seas

897. Om kula-rūpinyai namah: I bow down to Amma who is the deity of the Kaula path

From darkness to light, from ignorance to knowledge, from hatred to love, from ego to consciousness...Amma continues to cleanse us from within. I disliked group spiritual practices. I always felt they were tedious and went against the whole concept of spirituality. But when Bindu, who now lives in the US, saw my various messages to her filled with angst and pain, she insisted I join group chanting. I approached it with trepidation. The first time I chanted the Mritunjaya mantra 9 times, I had a panic attack midway. Post the prayer, I felt faint. I thought to myself: Never again! I was back the next day on the call, trembling, as I said the prayers. Amma held on tight - as She always does and She made me chant every few days. Now I look forward to the group chanting. I am extremely indebted to this group. We are a family, Amma's children, united by the bond of love that Amma has graced us with. Across oceans and seas, we hold each other's hearts as we pray for the world. Unseen faces, united hearts, brought together by devotion to the all-pervading Mother of this universe! May our love and devotion grow boundlessly.
Om Amriteshwaryai namah!  

The journey continues...

896. Om Kūtasthāyai namah: I bow down to Amma who remains unchanged like the anvil

How apt that 4 years and 5 months hence, I restart my journey with the name of the Devi that exemplifies the true nature of Amma. Unchanging. I veered away from Her in a huff, upset at the verisimilitude of life. I walked away from what I thought was a life of darkness into the forest of lost faith. I went Guru hunting. I wished for someone who would magically make my troubles disappear, wave a magic wand and wake me up into a perfect life. But every bit of wisdom I heard was familiar - because Amma had already uttered them. Every advice I heard were words I had heard before. I had walked away from a mountain, looking for cool air in molehills. And She waited patiently and when I walked back to Amma, She welcomed me with open arms. You are my rock, my anvil, my anchor, Amma. You are the only reality I need to know. When we as your children finally learn of our true nature, we will find our way back home - where You await our arrival with open arms.